raising spiderman

Indiscretions and Exercise

2011-03-06T18:56:00.006-06:00

This weekend has had its fair share of dietary indiscretions. For starters, Saturday mornings seem incomplete without syrup and something cakey. So, I made whole wheat waffles and we ate them with Agave Nectar, which is very much like maple syrup, but less watery.

That wasn’t too bad.

Saturday night, however, was Scout night with the Dallas Stars and Z and his dad went to the hockey game where they indulged on pulled pork nachos and… da da da daaaaa cotton candy!

Sunday morning we started our day with the appropriate protein and caffeine, and in addition began the Attend supplement. Z sat relatively well through the church service, and I actually received four comments from friends sitting behind us who said they were impressed with how well he did. Feeling super proud of the little guy, I went to pick him up after Sunday School only to find that he had not been so well behaved there. He had placed his name tag on his bottom and refused to move it, had made inappropriate noises during the lesson, and wrote his name in crayon on the table top, five times! His teachers were very encouraging, but I was very embarrassed.

With a brain consumed by the morning events, my car somehow drove itself to my favorite Italian restaurant where I post haste ordered a feast of grilled chicken, prosciutto, mushrooms, pasta, lemon, butter, olive oil, bread, mozzarella, feta, and parmesan…. followed by tiramisu. To my credit, this was the first time in 34 years that I left half a tiramisu on the plate. I simply could not finish it. I came home, plugged in Star Wars and fell into a deep slumbery Sunday afternoon nap.

When I woke I laid in bed for a while and meditated on the days events, our dietary journey, and my failures and successes moving us through it. I realized the peace and sense of ability that has steadily increased in me over the past few weeks. I've gone from utterly overwhelmed and needing to get us to a state of "fixed" ... to a willingness and openness to take each day as it comes and deal with it the way God has empowered me to do so. I recognized that I’ve been supremely stressed out and filled with worry about what decision to with Z, and once that decisions made, even more worrisome that it was not the right one. Our sermon this morning was on nothing other than worry and how we allow Satan to be victor with it consumes our lives.

The words that kept entering my mind were, one day at a time, do the best you can, and let God handle the rest. The movie now over, I could hear Z had gone on to his bedroom to reenact the scenes with his action figures. In my best effort to put on my big girl britches and be carefree, I told Z to get his tennis shoes on and we set out for an early evening bike ride.

This being our second attempt to ride together, I knew to expect the first quarter mile to be up hill. Then, we would reach the mostly level trail. I pushed, and pushed, and pushed ... all the way up to the top. Well, almost to the top. When I had the trail entrance in site I heard Z yell out from behind me… “mommy slow down.” I knew if I slowed down I would never make it, and I was right. I stopped and waited for him to reach me and that is were we stayed for the next three to four minutes while I endeavored to catch my runaway breath. Unsuccessful, I walked my bike to the trail entrance. We rode for a good little bit, but did not make it to the end of the trail. My body failed me and I turned us around, with tomorrows goal being to actually reach the end. Home is downhill, no pedaling involved so we were back to our house lickedy split.

My heart still pounding and my throat sore from sucking in deep breaths of cool night air, I sent Z to the bathtub and fell backward onto the sofa to recover. Once the shock wore of, I was nauseated. So I ate a banana and fixed Z a light dinner. I threw away the leftover container from our Italian feast and vowed to never again mix indiscretions with exercise.

Even as miserable as it was, I will conquer riding a bike. It will one day be as fun as it used to be. So far this journey to health has been very different than I expected. It’s been easier in many ways and tougher in some. The best thing is that it’s teaching me to slow down and to realize and enjoy the goodness God has provided through nature. I'm also learning to enjoy the provisions of grace, forgiveness, and the peace that comes by relinquishing control and trusting God.

A little bit of India and some of Italy...

2011-03-03T19:41:00.012-06:00

My childhood best friend and her family have moved to the very city we call home! Her husband is a minister and for a few years now they have been patiently waiting for God’s direction. They have recently received a much awaited answer to prayer, and with it so have I. I love where we live, as well as the people here who have blessed our lives. But I still long for the friendships I once knew. She and I haven’t lived near each other in almost twenty years… and twenty years ago we were inseparable. So needless to say, their relocation has me very excited.

To welcome them, Tuesday I prepared a grilled hamburger dinner with steamed veggies and an assortment of fruit. We dined, visited, and the kids played... it was a great evening. Unfortunately, Z woke about 1 am Wednesday morning with severe vomiting that lasted almost six hours. I nursed him back with oatmeal and rice, and by dinner he was ready for a peanut butter sandwich.

I am still in search of something other than peanut butter that I can offer on a sandwich.

Today he’s feeling much better and was happily ready to go back to school. This morning's protein shake was altered a little by lessening the amount of protein to two tablespoons, and using ½ tea and ½ organic pressed apple juice – not from concentrate. He really liked this one. I added the protein at the end and stirred it in to keep the consistency of a smoothie so it would be less like drinking air.

Lunch for Z was another peanut butter sandwich on ezekiel bread, with a couple clementine’s and iced tea. I had a mid-morning meeting so by the time lunch rolled around for me I was starving! Not sure what to eat, I perused the pantry and refrigerator a couple times before deciding to try the Holy Land hummus with roasted red pepper. I was pleasantly surprised with the explosion of flavor and the wheels in my brain started churning. I decided it would be really good mixed with rice and tomato. I started the rice and diced up a roma tomato and waited. And waited. And waited… brown rice takes 45 min to cook so it’s usually better to plan ahead when using it. While waiting I sliced up a few strawberries and ate them outside. I came back in and still had a lot of time left, so I snapped off a broccoli floret and dipped it into the hummus. It was so good, that chopped up the remaining head of broccoli and tossed that into my bowl of patiently waiting diced tomato. Finally, when the rice was ready, I drained it, dumped it into the bowl, then added two heaping tablespoons of hummus. Quickly I stirred that up and dove in. This dish now tops the list of my all-time favorite meals. Very savory and flavorful, and took me through the remainder of my day feeling great.

my favorite meal of rice, hummus, tomato and broccoli

The 4pm phone call from Z’s teacher diminished that great feeling. I was glad she called, but each of our conversations leave me with an overwhelming feeling of her incompetence. I know, that’s harsh. As I’ve mentioned before, we have been blessed with amazing teachers up to this point… but this year has been rough in so many ways. On several occasions Ms. X, as I’ll call her, has expressed her exasperation with Z and has no problem admitting that she has no idea what to do with him or how to handle his behaviors. This is her 18th year to teach, and I honestly do not know how she has made it this far. I only hope that our future teachers will have a better handle on how to direct a difficult child. Today, she relayed to me a conversation that she and Z were having which started with her questioning Z about his work, and ended with him saying to her “I’m not going to argue with you about this anymore.” She expressed to me her concern that he took over the authority in that situation. When I asked her how she handled it, she said she was really just confused by it and didn’t know what to say, so therefore just walked away. Hmmm. Well, that explains a lot. As nicely as I could, I explained to her that she should have immediately corrected him and let him know who’s in charge. She agreed, as she always does, but I don’t see that happening. Every suggestion I make, she is responsive to, but when it comes down to it and she is in a situation with Z that requires immediate response, she flounders and eventually becomes overwhelmed. She’s exasperated, confused, and in my opinion inadequately equipped to handle a challenging child. Z has also reported to me on many occasions inappropriate things she has said to him, that I’ve had to address with the administration. She becomes overwhelmed and because she cannot handle the situation appropriately, she resorts to demeaning and hurtful remarks. It’s just been a bad year.

I’ve been pretty open with Z and we discuss things in an almost adult-like manner. I do my best to support Ms. X, especially when speaking to Z, and he knows my expectation is for him to respect and obey all his teachers. For the most part, each of them are able to get him back on track. That’s not to say anyone has had it easy with him, but it all boils down to who is in control… and Ms. X is letting Z win. Our conversation ended with her agreeing that she needed to be more in control. She was heading off to her class, she's getting her Masters degree in education... but later this evening she would review a cd she has on how to handle a defiant child.
I'm just at a loss.

When it was time for dinner, I was feeling pretty discouraged and decided to sit on the patio for a bit and take in the beautiful Central Texas evening. Seeing all that fresh basil I have growing in my herb garden made me decide to somehow incorporate basil into dinner. All this from scratch cooking requires either lots of planning or complete spontaneity. Because I’ve been too busy to plan, spontaneity has been my guide. The only dish I could think of with basil was insalata caprese, so I just went with it. We can't have cheese, so I decided to incorporate the flavors into our standard chicken and rice staples. First I put on the rice… for obvious reasons. Then, in the wok (which has become my favorite pan) I heated a little evoo. Before adding the tomato and basil, I tossed in a small sliced onion just because caramelized onion makes any dish better. To the onion, tomato, and basil mixture, I added thinly sliced chicken breast. I’ve found that slicing chicken very thin and cooking it quickly makes for the tastiest morsels. Although it did not have the taste of caprese, it was very good. Z’s favorite dish so far, he even had seconds.

chicken caprese, a la carrie

We see the Neurologist tomorrow. I have no idea how he’s going to take our new plan. We shall see.

Ciao. Namaste.

Carrie

Wok 'n' Whole Wheat Woll

2011-02-28T19:30:00.026-06:00

Last week Z had three and a half great days at school. One was rough, and one would have been great, had it not ended with four six year olds in a wrestling match during recess, one of them being my z-man. All in all though, I’d say it’s going well.

This weekend was Z’s birthday party, so needless to say we had our fill of sweets and treats and all kinds of unhealty additives. But with that behind us, we both embarked on our journey to whole food health with optimism.

It took me most of my evenings last week and a good part of the weekend to plan, and gather, and plan, and learn, and plan, and learn some more about what we would need to embark on our new eating style. I began introducing things here and there last week, but today has been our first full day on the plan.

The day began with eggs and a caffeinated protein smoothie. Protein for alertness and caffeine is the stimulant replacement. The plan says to use coffee, but after much trial and error I’ve altered ours to the following recipe.

CAFFEINATED PROTEIN SMOOTHIE
serves 2

1.5 c brewed black tea – chilled
½ banana - frozen
½ c strawberries – frozen
½ c blueberries – frozen
¼ c egg white protein powder
Blend, and serve

mmm, mmm, good. It actually is the best protein smoothie I’ve made so far. I'm using frozen fruit and not adding any ice. The best way to freeze bananas is to peel and put them in a ziploc bag prior to going into the freezer... peeling frozen bananas is hand torture! The egg white powder creates a light and airy consistency and has no flavor, which is good. This smoothie is sweet, but not too sweet, smooth, and easy to swallow. Z's still not all that crazy about it, but he did agree that it is the best one so far.

For lunch we had grilled chicken salad, with field greens, spinach and cucumbers with vinaigrette dressing. I'm lucky that Z has always enjoyed a good salad. The chicken was prepared last night on the george foreman and set in the fridge. I sent along an afternoon snack of sliced granny smith apples, peanut butter, and a handful of grapes.

When I picked him up at 3:00, the little z-man was STARVING! So I offered edamame, broccoli, and hummus which wasn’t enough to abate the hunger monster. So a quick trip to Sprouts was in order. Luckily, the small whole foods market is just down the street on the corner. I was happy to find organic whole wheat bread, with no preservatives or any of that other stuff we can't have. Since whole grains, including whole wheat, are acceptable on the meal plan, I was pleased to be able to offer a peanut butter and banana sandwich… which Z was most pleased to accept. After scarfing it down he asked for another, but once sandwich number one had sufficient time to settle, he was satisfied. I didn’t have the same hunger, but found myself in need of an extra large cup of joe.

From now on, we will be doing a little more rice and bread during school… salad and fruit isn’t enough for a hungry mini-man. Therefore, I'm adding bread baking to the list of things I need to learn how to do.

By dinnertime, I was hungry. The most challenging part about this endeavor for me, has been figuring out what to cook and how. I love to bake, and I can follow a recipe pretty well, but spontaneity in the kitchen has never been my forte. Unfortunately, I haven’t had much success in finding recipes for entire meals free of all dairy, sugar, starch, and/or something from a can or box. So, I’ve had to create a few recipes by changing up a little bit of what’s already out there.

Tonight was stir fry. I set two frozen chicken breast out to thaw in the refrigerator this morning, so they were ready to wash and go. I sliced them thin and tossed them in the wok with a smidge of evoo. When the chicken was cooked I moved it to a paper plate, and added half a sliced onion and julienned carrots to the wok with a little more olive oil. Once the onions started to carmelize I added some sea salt and pepper, and it was looking so good that I chopped up some broccoli threw that in as well. I decided to try a sprinkling of coriander and ginger because they sound oriental. By the way, Target has small bottles of organic spices for around a dollar each! I bought a few over the weekend and plan to give them a whirl.

When the veggies were all steamed and tender, I returned the chicken, and at the last minute chopped up some parsley and tossed it into the mix. We ate it over brown rice, and it was really, really good. It lacked nothing. The carrots and onion were my favorite part, but everything was fresh and delicious. The best part was, I didn’t have that parched and tired feeling you get after eating traditional stir fry. I felt great, energized, and ready for our outing to the park. In fact I still feel great! Z enjoyed it as well, but with his hunger at ease from the afternon snack, there was plenty left over for my lunch tomorrow. Z, however, will be getting a peanut butter sandwich.

Day one was good, and to my relief not difficult!

Wok on.
Carrie

and so... a new journey begins

2011-02-21T21:00:00.019-06:00

it's been quite some time since my last posting, so i feel an update is required. for those of you who may not know, spiderman, also known as z and whom this blog is about, has been diagnosed with ADHD.

per our neurologist there can be mild, moderate, and severe cases of ADHD. z is said to be on the "severe end of severe."

prior to this journey, i was an ADD/ADHD skeptic. believing it to be over diagnosed, (still do) and easily used as a label for any behavioral issue.

z has always been active, some would have considered him to be an over-active toddler and child. even from a very young age, prior to his first birthday, we never failed to attract attention anywhere and everywhere we went. comments and staring just became part of normal life. "boy, you sure have your hands full with him!" was a phrase i heard almost daily from doctors, nurses, family and friends, as well as from strangers and passersby.

z attended a private pre-school and his teacher was an absolute blessing. there were only 9 children in the class so she was able to spend a lot of one-on-one time with him, and she did. she also agreed to tutor him during the summer before he entered kindergarten. she came twice a week for two months and reported that she was amazed at how intelligent z was, because she could not get that kind of performance from him in the classroom.

his main problems have always been listening to and/or understanding direction, completing tasks, and staying still.

though i was potentially aware of the disorder in pre-k, i decided to wait and see how things worked out in kindergarten.

z's first week of kinder, his teacher called me to discuss her "serious" concerns. he was unable to sit during circle time or maintain focus on any given task throughout the day. they move from task to task every 20 - 30 minutes as it is, and he couldn't maintain self control for even 5. he would roll on the floor, sit underneath the tables, blurt out random off-topic thoughts, become easily frustrated, wonder off, and as his teacher described it just "wasn't present".

after a series of school administered tests and multiple visits with teachers and administrators, the results were taken to z's doctor, who then referred us to a psychologist.

the psychologist worked with z for one hour and informed me that she had no doubt that he had ADHD, and saw immediate and immense manifestations.

i was completely turned off by this refused to believe that even a PHD who specialized in the disorder could possibly know so quickly. i did, however, allow her to work with him for the following three months. gradually her reports began to make more sense to me, and i could tell she really understood my child and the disorder. i agreed to allow z to be put on ritalin.

the effect was immediate and amazing. z was given 5mg of ritalin each day. prior to taking the drug, he could not sit still and focus long enough to write his name. on his first ritalin day, he wrote his name with amazing skill and completed all his assigned tasks.

at five years old, he began to ask me if he could take his pill even on weekends, because he could feel the positive effect it had on him. he was able to clean his room, and think the way he wanted.

eventually the dose needed to be increased, as the effectiveness decreased. and of course, we put in to place many behavioral modification techniques as he began treatment with a neurologist.

as kindergarten continued, it didn't take me long to realize we were again blessed with a wonderful teacher. though now in public school, with a classroom of 23 children, she was still able to spend much needed one-on-one time with z. she put in to place many behavioral support materials, and communicated daily with me. z did show vast improvement,compared to his non-medicated self, however the symptoms were still there and sill considered enough to interfere with his social and educational needs.

when first grade began, he was placed on focalin, a slow-release form of ritalin. he has had continued behavioral issues all year mostly manifested from impulse control. however, the drug did seem to assist with his ability to focus and complete tasks. though the effectiveness was random as he would do very well for periods of time, and then have days of complete disorder.

then, over the christmas break, the side effects began. severe headaches were the starting point. after er visits, phone calls to on-call physicians, and many sleepless nights the decision to take z off focalin was made.

the result was a week of absolute chaos. every day he was being sent to the principals office where he spent more time than in the classroom that week. heartache best describes that week.

so, we began concerta. another form of extended release ritalin.

as there are not that many options when it comes to ADHD medication, and he showed such vast improvement when first put on ritalin, it seemed the optimal choice.

after about 20 days on concerta, with symptoms ranging from chest pains, rapid heartbeat, blurred vision, seeing spots, nausea and of course another er visit... concerta was discontinued.

and that is where we are today.

z's neurologist has taken him off medications for another week and plans to begin adderall.

after prayerful consideration, meditation, and more sleepless nights, i have decided otherwise.

based on the fact that he is still manifesting major disorder symptoms, even on the drugs; and the drugs are posing a health risk... it's just not adding up for me.

i've been on both sides of the argument. withholding a medication that he seems to need couldn't possibly be the answer, right? but giving him a medication that is causing severe health problems couldn't be the right thing to do either, could it?

no one with authority on the subject wants to weigh in. all three of his doctors say, it's parents choice.

well, with that being the case. i've chosen. and we're going holistic.

i never really imagined myself saying that, but i'm finding myself open to all possibilities. and the fact remains that even on the drugs, z has been having regular behavioral and learning manifestations of the disorder. the administrators and teachers at his school have my cell on speed dial and call multiple times each week, sometimes multiple times in a day. we've had meetings upon meetings to address nothing other than z's disorder and behaviors. so i have to look at the question: are the potential health risks worth the effectiveness of the drug? my answer is easily no. even if the drugs were working wonderfully i could not continue, given his side effects.

so what does holistic mean exactly? well, for starters, a change in diet that includes no dairy, no breads, no food colorings, obviously no junk foods and sugar, no processed foods, nothing in a can, a box, or pre-packaged, unless that package says ingredients: chicken.

so, how does this vary from what we already do? cutting out the sugar and junk, even the bread is not that big of a deal around here. but my sin is processed foods. just about every recipe i cook includes opening a can, or sprinkling on a chemical filled seasoning. i'm not sure how to make chicken and rice without a can of cream of chicken soup... so some food preparation research will be required.

so, for now, our endeavor is to eat only what God made in its absolute most natural state.

goodbye packaged food

i'm looking forward to this and i pray, i sincerely pray that this will help.

i know it won't be the complete solution. we will of course continue our behavioral therapies, seeing our physicians and therapist, and there are supplements and therapeutic instruments that will be added throughout this process. but, this is where the journey begins.

your prayers for my sanity, and my sons health and well being are deeply desired.

and away we go.

carrie

young love and fake doggie doo doo

2009-11-22T18:41:00.006-06:00

"mommy, i want a roller coaster for christmas, okay?"

"well, you can't have a roller coaster for christmas zach, because where would we put it? but maybe we can go somewhere that you can ride a roller coaster. how about we have your birthday party at a place like that?"

"no, we have to have my birthday party at austin park and pizza, because that is where i told sammy it's going to be and i love sammy, she has to be there."

"sammy? who is sammy?"

"she is the most beautiful girl i know. she is prettier than beautiful. i love her so much it makes my stomach hurt."

"um, wow. who's class is she in?"

"she's in my class. i like to sit next to her because i love her, and she is nice and pretty. she is my kiss heart girl. i squeeze love'n to her. i just love my sweetie love heart girl!"

"okay. i don't know who that is, what color is her hair?"

"it's yellow, and her eyes are blue. she is the prettiest girl in the class. she's prettier than beautiful."

"yes, i know. okay."

long silence

"okay then mom, i want fake doggie doo doo for christmas."

captain underpants!

2009-11-17T21:50:00.003-06:00

the book fair has been at z's school this week. first the kids preview the books and come home with a list of titles they are interested in. then, parents are invited to shop. i was more excited about the shopping experience than zach. i have a real weakness for books. some of zach and my most enjoyable and memorable moments are when we snuggle up to read a stack of books. there are so many amazing, sweet, funny, silly, gross, educational, heart warming and thoroughly entertaining children's books. i was like a kid in a candy store... seduced by colors, pictures, rhyming words and the smell of fresh cut paper. instead of z asking me for books, i was talking him into them.

"what about this one..."

"mom, we have three books already."

"i know, but look at this one."

unexpectedly he was drawn to chapter books. i wasn't prepared for this. chapter books, at his age? there are no pictures! surely he couldn't be interested in reading a chapter book.

but he was persistent. he wavered over a few different series... but settled on captain underpants. i believe it helped that the cover is of a boy in only underwear and a cape.

could i do this? chapter books... already? i gave in and we began reading the series instead of our usual stack of colorful and clever stories.

if you don't know about the books, they star two mischievous young boys who, among other things, write comic books. their most popular books are of the superhero, captain underpants. to my surprise, zach has been enthralled, anxious to go to bed at night and hear the next installment of captain underpants. i have really enjoyed them as well, and have been reminded that you don't need pictures to have a colorful story.

today, as i was working, z kept coming up to me with atypical questions...

"mom, how do you spell hit?"

"mom, what letter makes the uh sound?"

"mom, can you please write this word for me?"

i wasn't sure what he was doing, but it seemed educational.

tonight, as we snuggled down to read, he presented me with his very own comic book. written and illustrated by zachary.

amazing. simply amazing!

the incredible shrinking woman

2009-09-01T19:34:00.005-05:00

do you remember that movie... i barely do.

so maybe i'm not incredible... but i AM shrinking. yep. all my life i've been 5'8"... every time i had to go to the nurses office for one of those school weigh in's i was 5'8". all throughout my pregnancy i was 5"8".

at my six month well check after z was born i measured 5'7". we measured twice just to be sure i'd actually lost an inch. weird, but no biggie compared to all the other stuff your body goes through during pregnancy. i figured i'd streach back out eventually.

today at my well check, i measured in at 5'6".

"66" the nurse said

"that's 5'6", right?"

"that's right"

"but i'm 5'8""

"no, you're 5'6""

"measure again"

"okay...yep, 66"

"humpf"

so i asked my doctor what that's all about... and he said we shrink as we get OLDER.

as if that wasn't bad enough he put me on a diet and made me agree to exercise three times a week. poo on him.

so, on a completely different note... i signed up for PTA tonight at z's parents night. i'm pretty sure i don't have to do anything though. not sure i'll have time with all this exercising i'm gonna be doing.

i don't know how some moms (like my sisters) do all this stuff and keep it together. i had to make a sign and hang it by the front door so i would remember to pack z's two healthy snacks each day. i'm so on information overload.

33

2009-08-27T20:58:00.002-05:00

33 feels like 32. today was a good day... and served as a reminder of how blessed i am to have so many wonderful people in my life.

z did quite well this morning. we walked to his class, and i stopped to visit with his teacher about hot lunches. he put his folder away and sat down next to the wall with all the other kids. i walked back down the hall and said, "bye zach." he ignored me.

whatever to him.

thanks mom, dad, steph, brad, and grace for such a wonderful birthday dinner. love you all.

day two of the kinder journey

2009-08-26T17:38:00.002-05:00

this morning we were up and ready and to school precisely on time. everything went smoothly, we walked to z's class and waited in the hallway as the kids filed into the classroom.

zach was feeling a little clingy this morning, and wanted to give me several hugs. i willingly obliged. as his turn to enter the room approached, i told him to get his lunch box out of his backpack and get it ready to put on the shelf when he enters the room.

"i want a hot lunch, mom"

"i know you do zach, but we'll have to start that next week. okay?"

"fine."

"good morning zachary!" his teacher called out. he gave her a big smile. good sign. "take your red folder out of your bag and place it in this box. that's our first step every morning."

he took off his backpack and dumped it on the floor.

"pick up your bag and take out the folder and place it in this box." there were people behind us in line, so i picked up his bag and opened it. "take out your folder and put it in the box zach"

as he pulled the folder from the bag, the corner of it nicked his eye. he looked up at me wide eyed and then crocodile tears came pouring down his cheeks.

i kneeled down beside him, and we moved out of the way for the other kids to enter the room. the tears continued to pour as he wiped them away and tried to put on a brave face. "i'm so sorry that happened baby" i kept saying as i helped wipe away his tears. no words, just tears. "are you gonna be alright?" i asked. he nodded in assurance and his teacher gently held him by the arm, urging him into the room.

he turned to face her, but pulled away. she reached for his hand and tugged a little again. he planted his feet, firmly stiffened up and pulled back. it was clear he had no intention of entering the room. neither of them relented. she pulled and he pulled harder. i watched this tug-of-war for a few seconds trying to figure out what i was going to do. i'm lucky in a sense, that it's not often that zach throws such a tantrum. but when he does, he is relentlessly stubborn about it.

so i resorted to bribery.

"do you want to go to the pool tonight?" i whispered in his ear.

he looked at me, reading my face. i could tell the thought appealed to him. his teacher walked away, giving us time to sort this out.

"if you will go into the classroom right now and get a smiley face for the day we will go to the pool tonight."

"okay" he said. he slowly walked in and placed his lunchbox on the shelf. his teacher smiled at him, and he returned it with a sheepish smile also. i could tell he was a little embarrassed.

the principal was making announcements as i walked out of the building. "welcome students to your second day of school! don't worry kinders, you'll get the hang of it soon."

that made me feel better. so now, as i promised, we're off to the pool. round three tomorrow.

first day of school...first day of school...!

2009-08-25T20:41:00.003-05:00

zach wasn't quite as excited as little nemo was to go to school. although, he was pretty pumped about getting to use his new spiderman lunchbox. in fact, that seemed to be the only thing that brought a big smile to his face whenever we discussed school.

it's been hard to read if he has been anxious or excited about starting kindergarten. from what i can tell, it hasn't seemed to phase him much. he's pretty good about just going with the flow of things... and i think he's just taking every new adventure in stride.

even though he went to bed early last night, i couldn't get him out of bed this morning. i had to lift him up and set him on the sofa... still half asleep. finally, he got dressed but was still grumpy enough to throw off his shoes and socks three times before finally allowing me to secure them to his feet. he went to bed earlier tonight, so we'll see how it goes in the morning. he hates wearing shoes, so i may have to deal with that for a while.

i was so preoccupied in making sure that he had his nap blanket, water bottle, two healthy snacks, packed lunch, and change of clothes that i totally forgot to grab my camera. luckily for me, his teacher is AWESOME and she emailed the parents a power point first day slide show!!

zach knew the way to his classroom, because we were up there last week for supply drop off night. after observing his teacher that evening he informed me that he already "had the hang" of her. :)

i let him lead the way to class, and when we got there, one of his classmates was red faced and crying. i hadn't prepared myself for crying. it took me by surprise, then zach looked at me and said "what's his problem?" as i was explaining, his teacher came over and said

"hi zach, let me show you to your seat!"

to which he replied "i already know where it is." and headed that direction.

"can i get a hug and a kiss?" i asked. he half-heartedly complied and gave me a quick hug and kiss then bounced off to his seat.

"bye zach" i called to him as i was walking out the door. he didn't even look my direction, already coloring the picture in front of him.

okay then. and i left.

when i picked him up, of course he didn't have much to say about his day.

"it was fun." was all i could get out of him. okay, fine. that's good enough for me.

he couldn't remember, or didn't want to talk about anything they did. but he did oblige me when i asked what his very favorite part of the day was.

"nap time."

"really?"

"yeah."

"what was fun about nap time?"

"it wasn't fun, it was funny."

"it was?"

"yeah, someone tooted and we couldn't stop laughing."

"nice."

then he proceeded to laugh the rest of the way home.

note to self...

2009-08-19T21:03:00.003-05:00

this evening as zach and i were on our way home from an unproductive hunt for manila paper, he struck up a conversation about shooting stars. it amazes me how much he knows about stuff we've never talked about before.

the conversation took us through all the various aspects of shooting stars, from making wishes, to what stars are really made of. it didn't seem to bother him too much that any wish he made most likely would not come true... he was more interested in the anatomy of outer space. i'm no astronomer, but i did my best to answer what i could.

after the several moments of silence he took to ponder this new information... the conversation ended like this:

"mom, you need to make sure to remember to look out for shooting stars when we are in outer space."

"yep, that seems like a good thing to remember."

"i don't want us to get hit with a big ball of fire mom. will you remember to look out for shooting stars when we are in outer space."

"i'll do my best, zach."

"mom, i think you need to write it down when we get home."

"okay, will do."

oh no... there's a name for what i am

2009-08-10T20:39:00.007-05:00

okay, yeah.... so i'm a twi-mom.

i'm not ashamed. or, maybe i am just a little.

needing something to get me through the three hour flight home, i picked up the first twilight novel in the albuquerque airport.

i had seen movie, and enjoyed it. though the novel was very similar to the movie... i found it much more intriguing. so, i picked up the second novel in the austin airport.

i read it that evening... unable to put it down.

it's not the norm for me to stay up past 10 pm at the latest. however, i couldn't go to sleep. i couldn't believe it when the clock read 5 am, as i finished 'new moon', and turned out the light. i fell in love with the characters.

it's written in first person narrative, so i believe that is why, as a reader, i was able to relate to the main character, bella. i'm not sure though, if i were a teen, i would have been able to feel what i felt while reading it.

maybe teens now-a-days are ready for this. but i would not have been.

besides the fun and mystical aspect of the supernatural... the romance is beyond anything i've ever read. yes, austenites.... even jane wasn't able to provoke the same raw gut wrenching emotions.

the next day i purchased the the final two books and had completed the entire saga by the end of the week. the second and fourth book are my favorites.

book one - twilight - is a prelude... getting to know the characters and relationship development

book two - new moon - is beyond words.... a heart breaking tear jerker

book three - eclipse - is more plot development

and book four - breaking dawn - is the ultimate ending. i cried tears of joy. okay, i sobbed. jerking.. violent... sobs.

really, i did.

don't shake your head at me... you don't know.

so. needless to say i am quite impressed with the author and wait in anxious anticipation with all the tweens for the release of the movie sequel.

if you can't wait either... you can enter to win premiere tickets here:
http://apps.facebook.com/twilightprizes/?refuid=585350339

it's been a while...

2009-04-13T19:33:00.002-05:00

i haven't had much spare time... so blogging has taken the back burner. although, this evening something happened that i wanted to share.

i took z to the doctor today... again. he has an ear infection...again, and he tested positive for strep throat. luckily, he's not feeling too bad.

on the way to the pharmacy to pick up his medicine, we passed a transient. z has a thing he likes to do to people on the street... and we both get a kick out of it. he likes to roll the window down and yell questions... or a simple "hi" to the people. i enjoy seeing how they respond, z just enjoys getting to yell out the window.

so he asked me to roll down the window so he could yell at the transient. i said, "no, he looks sad. i don't think he will think it is funny."

"he does look sad. what does his sign say."

i read it, it wasn't a clever one, it just simply said "trying to survive."

boy did that hit home. i feel the same way, a lot. and yet, i have a house and a bed to sleep in at night.

zach wanted to know what that meant, so i explained that some people don't have homes, or food, or money.

"can we give them our money mommy?"

"i don't have any money, zach."

"just enough money to buy my medicine?"

"yep, that's about all i have."

"can we give it to him anyway?"

my eyes teared up, and i was so proud.

"you need your medicine zach, i'll see what i may have to give to the man as we drive back by."

he was thrilled, and squealed with delight. he asked dozens more questions as we made our way through the store and back to the car. he couldn't wait to help the man.

"i hope he won't be sad anymore." he kept saying.

by the time we made it back, he was gone.

"i bet he's over in those trees going peep and poop."

we made a loop around the block once to see if we could find him. we were both so disappointed. but, zach put the dollar in his door, ready to give to him, next time he saw him.

i've never given this much thought to the life of a transient. in fact, i try to avoid thinking about it. although doing so tonight kinda made my problems seem just a little more bearable.

ahhhh... now i remember

2009-02-26T11:25:00.005-06:00

i had forgotten why i never watch tv anymore.

feeling a bit out of touch, i tuned in to american idol last night.

at first, i thought something was wrong with my television speakers... but the judges confirmed it was the contestants and not my tv. the first three were beyond painful to watch.

i turned off the tv, but after a few minutes couldn't withstand my curiosity and turned it back on.... i had to see if they were ALL going to be as terrible.

i should have left it off.

THAT GUY! what is up with that weird-o guy? i felt like i was lost in the twilight zone... or possibly had tuned into a mad tv spoof of a.i.... unfortunately it was legit, and i needed a shower after his act, i was all kinds of creeped out.

the red-head was good. really good. and the last guy, decent but but it was too little to late for me. i'm off tv again. i'm stickin' to my weekend viewing of dvr'd bones episodes.

on the plus side, i got to see the following commercial, which in my opinion was the best thing on tv last night. z and i rewound it and watched it about five times. it just doesn't get old.

running on empty...

2009-02-20T07:51:00.005-06:00

i am exhausted!

time keeps slipping away from me. i have made a recent effort to stop myself from thinking about what's next, and try to focus on what is happening now, because i'm missing it. missing the present by worrying about the future.

it's hard to do, but i've been able to clear my head and focus on what is currently going on a couple of times, and i like it. it's nice.

so... i thought of a blog post, but i couldn't get the pics done.

it was about valentine gifts, and how my son brought enough home to fill a trash bag, and over half of them were homemade. yup - homemade! amazing. one was a hand-stitched finger puppet, a robot and the card was also hand made and it said "your megabites of fun" it was really cute. seriously though, who has the time? i thought i was doing great by attaching a box of conversation hearts to the store-bought valentine cards we signed on our way out the door.

oh well. i'm over it.

z's 5th birthday party is tomorrow, and we are psyched! promises to be lots of fun! i'll be back with details, and hopefully pics. we shall see.

well, time to go focus on the now. :)

what's your take?

2009-02-12T14:26:00.002-06:00

i think he's acting the part of a weirdo...

song of the moment

2009-02-11T16:35:00.005-06:00

i thought of my friend kristen when i heard this song today... thought i'd dedicate this to you k...

... and to all the moms out there as well.

thanks to my sister, i had the privilege of hearing this performed live. i cried then and every time i've heard it since.

hotel life

2009-02-11T08:44:00.003-06:00

sometimes i just need to check out.

would anyone like to volunteer to live my life for a few days so i can check out. just a few days, that's all i need.

chicken fried bacon

2009-02-08T16:28:00.012-06:00

zach and i were treated to breakfast yesterday morning.

zach's dad arrived to pick him up, and offered to take us to the 620 bakery and cafe, a place he's been itching to go since i moved into this neighborhood. i obliged, and what a treat it was.

this is one of those places you'd expect to see the food network feature on diners, dives, and drive-ins.

they started us off with a basket of made-from-scratch breads, banana, cranberry, apricot, and whole grain. yummmm! oh, yeah and they sell their homemade breads by the loaf.

as a breakfastizer, we ordered chicken fried bacon. when that is on the menu, how can your curiosity be overcome? as if the bacon itself battered and fried wasn't enough, it's served with cream gravy dipping sauce. a taste sensation, my friends. i'm sad to say, it was absolutely delicious. amazing, actually.

after that heart attack, z and i split steak and eggs... complete with country fries and grits...

topped off with some of the best pancakes ever served.

i haven't eaten since that meal .... and i'm still not hungry.

the strangeness of timing

2009-02-03T22:20:00.003-06:00

i got divorced today.

yep.

took about five minutes, no exaggeration.

it seems odd. you spend countless days... years... trying to make things work. trying so hard, day after day, hour after hour, minute after... well you get the point.

and then you stand before a judge who says one sentence and booya... marriage dissolved.

kinda crazy.

i'm not sad that it's over... i mean i'm past that point. it had to be done, there was no more questioning that. i do feel like i'm all of a sudden 33 and have no idea how i got here. time flys when you're having fun... it vaporizes when you're not.

anyway.

tonight zach and i popped some popcorn and watched the incredibles. out of no where he says, "hmm, that's weird. why does dash's daddy live with him and his mommy? that's weird, huh?"

i was speechless for a moment... then i reverted back to the big purple dinosaur years and remembered the song about different types of families.

"no, zach. it's not so weird. there are all kinds of families. blah blah blah and stuff..." i told him bunch of crap i didn't really believe and that it was all okay.

i guess it is. sorta.

anyway, it's just a strange feeling.

the boy who cried bee... and the mom who didn't listen

2009-02-01T12:40:00.003-06:00

i like to open the windows when i clean house on the weekend and there's a small hole in one of my screens where a honey bee got in today

z: "mommy, there's a bee in the house!"

m: "hmmmm?"

busily scrubbing my counter tops and appliances with clorox clean-up

z: "mommy, mommy, there's a bee it's going to sting you!"

m: "huh, okay baby"

zzzzzzzzzzzz.....zzzzzzzzzzzz......zzzzzzz

m: "oh my gosh, there's a bee in here!"

z: "i told you!"

m: "i know, but... where's my broom?"

z: racing back from the garage with the broom "did it sting you mommy?"

m: "no, where is it, i can't see it?"

my adrenaline races anytime i see or hear a bee, wasp, scorpion... or anything that stings. i've never been stung by anything which is probably why they scare me so bad.

z: "it's over here mommy."

m: "move! you're gonna get stung!"

z: racing to his room and calling out from behind the door "tell me when it's dead, okay"

m: "okay" ... i swat at the bee with my broom... then push the table out of the way because it fell to the ground and bounced across the floor. just as i was about to swat it again it made a dash for the window. i broke the broom handle off trying to swat at it through the blinds.

m: "crap!"

z: "mommy?!"

m: "i'm okay, he's dead, you can come out."

z: "can i see him"

m: "yep, but don't touch, he still has a stinger."

z: "can you take off his stinger and let me keep him?"

m: "no"

D.A.D. frustrations

2009-01-28T19:39:00.004-06:00

excuse me while i vent.

my son's dad is such a jackass.

three months ago i began informing him of a special event at our son's school that was held yesterday morning. all the dad's were invited to come early and have breakfast with their kids.

last week i sent him three email reminders and called at least twice to make sure he would be able to make it. monday night i called with one final reminder. of course he had forgotten, with the excuse "i have people coming in the morning anyway so i wouldn't have been able to make it."

typical planning failure on his part.

so, after making him feel like the scum of the earth (which has been my role for the past five years) ... he agrees that he should make the event with z.

he shows up to pick z up at 7:15, the event begins at 7:30. With plenty of time to make it, he decides to doddle.

doddling, that's what i call it. he is an expert doddler. our entire eight years together, we've never been anywhere on time... because just as we're heading out the door the doddling begins. it is the most frustrating i've ever experienced.

so tuesday morning he comes in, spends about ten minutes in the bathroom, then heads to the back yard to smoke a cigarette and make a phone call. for at least twenty minutes z and i wait by the door, back pack in tow and coat on... just waiting.

meanwhile the stress and anxiety is building in me.... i can actually feel it bubbling up my spine.

finally... they load in the car. with the car running and z all buckled up, he stands outside for another cigarette break then finally off they go.

i pick up z from school and ask how "donuts with dad" went?

z: "it made me sad, we didn't get to eat any donuts."

m: "um... what??"

z: "they ate all the donuts before we got there"

m: "oh, i'm sorry baby, what did you eat?"

z: "nothing, daddy just took me to my classroom"

so... we made a stop by krispy kream for some donuts with mom time.

later i called his dad to find out what the crap went on. apparently they got there 35 minutes late to a 30 minute event. typical.

also typical was the response from a man incapable of owing responsibility for anything.... "well if they had provided enough donuts there wouldn't have been a problem. who has something like this without enough food?"

and he wonders why i begin reminding him of things months in advance. i wonder too now... it obviously does no good.

sigh

thanks for listening

i fell in love with a turtle today

2009-01-25T15:08:00.005-06:00

last year i picked up z from school to find out that one of the kid's in his classroom had brought a baby turtle for show-and-tell. this was very exciting for me, as i've always been partial to turtles, i just think they are so darn cute... so i asked z what he thought about it.

z: "i didn't like it at all"

m: "why not, mommy loves turtles"

z: "i like turtles too, but *boys name withheld* said he didn't like me and i couldn't see his turtle."

well, i couldn't stand for that, so we drove all over town and bought not one, but two of our own turtles. z named them after his two best friends, jax and gracie.

owning turtles will quickly change your fondness for them, i've learned. i despise cleaning the turtle tank.

requiring all the necessary reptilian items, such as a heat lamp and sun-bathing dock... as well as all the aquatic items such as a filter and tank and rocks and water... ect... is quite the undertaking. additionally, they make one heck of a mess and the tank must be drained and cleaned often.. or else the "turtle sludge" builds up. they are not real interactive pets, because they carry salmonella, so it's not often that we hold them.

this morning, i decided to clean the tank, which was long overdue. in fact, the turtles have grown so much since their last cleaning, that they wouldn't even fit in the container i used to hold them during the last cleaning.

anyway... after about an hour the tank was clean and sparkly and ready for the turtles. i always give them a good rinsing before putting them back in the tank. gracie, the red eared slider, has always been very, very shy. she hides and during her bath is completely pulled into her shell.

jax, a yellow painted turtle, was originally smaller than gracie and is now almost twice her size. he is my new little love. he stretched out during his bath and let me rinse and pet his tiny little arms and legs. i rubbed his shell and when i patted his head, he gave me a little love squeak. just too cute, really. he's adorable. i can't wait for z to get home and we can spend some time playing with jax the turtle.

so... he's human afterall

2009-01-20T21:14:00.007-06:00

i decided to put aside my disdain for barack obama today and watch the presidential inauguration. the feeling i'm left with is bitter-sweet.

i've come to the realization that my dislike for obama is not based on his political views as much as his personal choices, associations, values, and beliefs.

i believe that most will agree that the current state of the united states is one that calls for change... be that what it may. no, i have not switched sides... however i do find myself believing that president obama has the greater good of the union at heart, or maybe i just want to believe that. my hope is that, anyway.

even so, i still find myself praying, pleading even, that God protect me and my loved ones from what may come. i find myself still in fear of this man who is now our leader. and, in the words of rick warren, i pray that the new president be convicted by the Holy Spirit to do what is right in the eyes of God. and pray for God's guidance, protection, and reassurance, because as we all know, what will be will be. if you pray, pray this prayer of rick warren's.

now, with that said. it was absolutely beautiful to watch the inauguration of the first black president of the united states. i found myself overjoyed by the proud looks of his wife and children.... as well as the multitudes of onlookers. it was an awesome occasion and i am proud, so proud to be an american... even amongst the turmoil.

oh.... and it also warmed me a bit to see the nervousness of the human, barack obama, flub his oath. even the ever so poised, calm, cool, and seemingly collected politician is one of us, after all.

it's party time!

2009-01-12T17:55:00.003-06:00

so, i've been planning a bridal shower and bachelorette party for my sister, who is getting married in a few months. lots of fun!

as i was shopping around on line, i stumbled onto some pretty interesting bachelorette party items.... some of which were just laugh-out-loud hilarious! there is not a single thing that has not been made in the shape of male and female anatomy. lots of it is just raunchy and gross... but i have to share the following link, simply because i hate to laugh alone.

out of everything, my favorite is the macaweenie and cheese. bwahahahahahaa!

if you don't think you can handle it... don't click.

http://www.bachelorettesuperstore.com/page/100/CTGY/6000

oh, and not to worry... i didn't order anything. :)

the new wiggle

2009-01-03T09:14:00.006-06:00

in case you didn't know, a few years ago disney announced they would be replacing greg, the yellow wiggle, with a new person. greg sufferer's from a chronic condition related to his blood pressure which affects his ability to perform, and he resigned.

this morning was our first time to see the new yellow wiggle, sam wiggle.

i like him, i think he's great.

zach just started laughing when he saw him.

z: "look at his head mommy... what happened to his head?"

m: "it's a different guy zach, greg got sick and so this is the new yellow wiggle. i like him, don't you?"

z: "nope, i sure don't"

we went through the same thing when joe replaced steve on blues clues. he'll adjust.

the shoe patch

2008-12-21T13:47:00.002-06:00

a friend of mine recently said that God made our children with our weaknesses in mind. i'm sure that's true in many ways, but one in particular stands out to me... maybe because it's an every-day occurrence here in our house.

i tend to be very absent-minded and distracted most of the time... especially when it comes to misplacing things. in particular, my keys. i can never, ever remember where i set my keys down. in fact, my entire adult life i've given myself a ten-minute-key-finding-time allowance as part of my daily routine. my son however is quite attentive to detail and always knows where everything is...everything. so naturally, i've learned to ask him as we're heading out the door where i put my keys, and he will either go get them, or tell me where they are. it's fantastic! so much better than one of those key chains that beep when you whistle.

among the many other things i misplace are my shoes... also at the top of that list. however, i've found that i usually kick them off under my desk or in front of the bookcase as i walk in. usually. this story has a point, i promise. so the other day, i'm searching for my shoes and i call on the services of my little finder.

me: "z, do you know where mommies shoes are?"

z: "no, did you check your shoe patch?"

and that is how my closet became known as the shoe patch.

The Mob... and other stuff

2008-12-04T17:44:00.005-06:00

I got stopped by The Mob earlier this week… let me back up.

There’s a group of moms that stand outside z’s school every morning. They’re your stereo-typical private-school-moms. They stand in the parking lot in their Ann Taylor capri’s and LL Bean trench coats, gabbing about who knows what… I can only assume it’s about how wonderful their husbands are. I’ve affectionately named them The Mob.

Every day for the past four months I walk past them, trying my best to not make eye contact. Even so, I find myself intrigued. This whole mom-thing is such a challenge for me, and I wonder what it must be like to be one of the “super-moms”. I love being a mom, and have experienced nothing greater in my life… but know sometimes I'm not that good at it. I crack under stress and pressure... struggle with finances and time, or more so the lack there of. I find myself wondering what it must be like to have nothing to do all day… other than chauffeur my children to school, soccer, and ballet... in a leather interior Excursion with decals on the back that say Caleb and Skyler.

Anyway… back to my story…

On my way back to my car, passing by The Mob, I felt a pair of eyes staring at me. I look over and make eye contact. I smile, she smiles back. I’m thinking to myself… ‘crap, I don’t have my sunglasses on and I think she saw me?’ … then she reaches out and touches my arm. ‘oh no… what? What do they want with me? Am I about to be recruited to decorate the cafeteria?’

Then she says, “You have the most beautiful skin. It’s like a porcelain doll, and we want to know what you use.”

“oh!” … “um... noxema,” I say.

As they chatter amongst themselves... I nervously look away then back, smiling. ‘Could that be all? Are they done with me? Can I go?’

“do you wear makeup”… one of them asks.

“yeah, sometimes,” I reply. ‘Is this friendly fire?’ … asking myself as I look around at their skin, hair, nails, eyes… contemplating whether or not to respond with compliments, I choose to say nothing.

“My husband would be mortified if he saw me dressed like this, but sometimes I just don’t feel like getting showered and dressed in the morning.” She looked cute to me, but what do I know. Well, I know she had a Louis Vuitton handbag…

Anyway… back to my story.

“I really need to get back to work” … I say nervously, and duck away.

Letting out a big sigh as I start my car, ‘that was torture’, I think to myself.

However the drive back to my real life was pretty thought provoking.

The past few years have been rough, but have I become so completely jaded that I’m now the person that judges others? Judges others for no reason? Am I THAT person? The truth is, I don’t know. But I don’t like it.

Nothing thrills me more than driving my son to school while he sings along to Bob and Larry’s Sunday Morning Songs. And part of me sometimes wants to be one of those moms with nothing better to do than chauffeur my kids around. But, I’m a career mom. I love my work, and I love the people I work for. My career is not only essential for survival, but it’s a part of who I am. I’m very lucky to get to balance the career/mom lifestyle. Sometimes, I just wish I knew how to do it better.

um, no

2008-11-19T17:58:00.002-06:00

whoever thinks that this is okay...

i'm here to state for the record that it most definitely is not.

dermawhatever

2008-11-16T15:45:00.002-06:00

i saw this ad on ebay (trying to christmas shop and avoid malls at the same time.)

this is so stupid.

i'm all for anti-aging products. but give me a break.

at the bottom it says (results not typical)

uh, ya think?

can i just say, i'm SOOO sure!!!

um, exsqueeze me... you did NOT just say that!

2008-10-25T20:13:00.004-05:00

you can never be prepared for the day that your son says to you,

"hush your mouth... (wait for it...) ... ho."

yup, "ho"

after an in-depth conversation, he has no idea what it means. thank goodness.

but still... ho?

i guess it's a good thing he's not an angry teen spewing hatred at me. i guess it's better that he's four and has no idea what it means. i guess.

he attends a private christian school... which is where he picked up that lovely line.

how much more protective can i get? what will happen when/if he attends public school... what kinds of things do kindergartners learn these days?

pine cones and forced distraction

2008-10-21T21:01:00.003-05:00

i'm so tired of the news, the economic crisis, and the political race.

i usually make it a point to avoid such things, yet as of late have found myself utterly wrapped up in the mind-numbing mix.

so... i'm done. what will be will be. i've cast my ballot and i'm moving on.

to pine cones.

yes, pine cones.

i walked into the store today and my nose led me directly to these heavenly smelling cinnamon scented pine cones. i wish you could smell them.

go get your own, and you can.

they remind me of everything i love about this season, and make me smile every time i walk past them.

it's a little piece of heaven on earth.

Life...

2008-10-09T21:33:00.004-05:00

today i had to explain to z the concept of not always getting what we want.

he is used to getting a toy EVERY time we go to the store... dependent upon his behavior. in hind site, not the best way to get a child to behave. but hey, it worked. and you learn to do whatcha gotta do.

but... times are tough. my new single-mom budget is down to the last dollar. literally. so, even a $5 toy seems excessive these days.

i've been breaking him into it gently... explaining that i'm very proud of him for doing so well, but we can't always get a toy.

i think i took it a little too far today though, in my stress-ridden state. as i carried him screaming from the store, because he wanted a bear that he saw, and was terrified that some other child would get it, i told him that some other child WILL get the toy and that is life, and he will just have to deal with it. "sometimes we just don't get the things we want, and sometimes other people do, and that is just life." ... i think is how i put it.

to which he replied "i don't want life then"

yeah... i get that.

lord help us!

another weekend almost gone...

2008-10-05T00:15:00.005-05:00

week after week... time seems to be slipping away. we just started a new month, and the new year will be here in the blink of an eye....

i remember the days, pre-motherhood, that i use to look forward to the weekends of relaxation, long baths and getting lost in a good book.... starting back to work on monday rested and refreshed.

boy how things change. now my weekends consist of cleaning crusty cheerios off my dining room furniture, figuring out how to get gum out of the carpet and melted purple crayon out of my vacuum cleaner... not to mention meal planning, grocery shopping, washing the sheets... and all the other household chores we all do.

weekends are much busier than weekdays now.

today, i found an interesting stash zach's been collecting in his bathroom drawer... it consisted of an earring, a sharpie lid, a spool of thread, a barrette, an eraser, a straw, a cotton ball, and the plastic tray that lifesaver gummies come in, but instead of candy it was filled with coins. strange. it made me think of thimbletack, from the spiderwick chronicles. it also made me smile, and cherish the uniqueness of the precious little gift God has placed in my life.

as much as i miss the carefree days... and boy do i miss them... i wouldn't trade the life i've enjoyed as a mother for anything in the world. as challenging as it can be at times to balance a full-time career/full-time mother lifestyle... i know that all too soon i'll be sending him off to college and have nothing to do but take long baths and read books. with that in mind, my goal is to not only cherish the beautiful moments of motherhood, but do my best to create meaningful moments we'll both hold on to forever.

2008-09-29T20:34:00.004-05:00

when i arrived home from picking up z after school today there was a woman standing in my front yard, smoking a cigarette and holding a small chiuaua.

she informed me that she had been trying to catch a small black dog that ran into my back yard. not her dog, but a dog she saw on the street in front of my house.

she then informed me that she had been in my back yard, chasing after the dog.... and moved some toys of zach's and my potted plants... trying to block the dog in.

then she says... "i hope you don't mind."

uhhhh, yeah i mind. hello, boundaries people. i guess she's one of those that asks for forgiveness instead of permission.

anywho, time to get a lock for the gate.

WOW

2008-09-25T08:00:00.003-05:00

leave it to my good friend julie to unearth this article.... she always sends me good stuff but THIS is something we should all take a look at.

check out her latest blog post.

my pinky purse

2008-09-23T18:24:00.012-05:00

my childhood friend, now blog friend pinky, posted a great blog the other day.

i've since given it a lot of thought and have pieces of it on my mind throughout the day. i've always been one to conform... fly under the radar.... hide in the shadows as to go unnoticed. i'm for sure one of those that has lost the spark and joy that she talks about... the me i used to know and like.

i've often found myself basing my decisions on what stands out the least... and not so much what i like.... hence my closet full of black clothes. i've even been known to not wear something if i get complimented too much on it.... because attention makes me uncomfortable.

BUT.... i've decided to actively work on that...i'm going to stop hiding.

so, with that in mind, i've taken my first baby-step. i've been eyeing this big ... really big... bright fire engine red canvas bag. i really like it... but said to myself i could never carry it because stands out too much ... then i bought it anyway. and i love carrying it. it's working as a major confidence booster.

thanks pinky, for the inspiration! i may not have fire engine red hair... yet. but with my pinky purse strapped to my shoulder i have the confidence and attitude! :)

this isn't just about a purse... but the step towards valuing my own opinion... liking something because i like it, and not basing my decisions on what others will think. this may be a very small step, but the concept is huge for me, thank you pinky for opening my eyes.

empty me

2008-09-15T12:41:00.004-05:00

this is the most amazing and wonderful song.

i wish i could photoshop out the heads. :)

weekends

2008-09-14T14:32:00.003-05:00

the weekends without z are bittersweet. the time alone to de-stress is nice... although most of the weekend is spent cleaning up after his week of experiments and exploration.

the other day i found a cup of honey sitting on the counter, next to the empty bottle of syrup. when i asked him what that was all about, he replied that he tried to drink a cup of honey, but when that failed he chugged the syrup instead.

nice!

nonetheless, i always find myself anxious to pick him up and get things back to normal. i don't know how dads, and even some moms live without their children. it must be excruciating.

the only positive i can find out of it all (and i have to find one because i'm a half-full kinda gal) ... is that i often find myself taking the time to reflect on the week and figure out how i can improve myself as a mother and improve zach's life... and then commit to doing that.

parenting is hard. really hard. so this is in honor of all the mom's and dad's who have made the commitment and sacrifices it takes to be a parent.... and the kid's that have to put up with us....

how to peel a hard-boiled egg

2008-09-12T13:04:00.002-05:00

my mom sent me this... i haven't tried it yet but i definately will... and then let you know how it worked out for me. somehow, i don't see it working this way for me. i dunno?

2008-09-11T18:45:00.000-05:00

Do not yield. Do not flinch. Stand up. Stand up with our President and fight. We're Americans. We're Americans, and we'll never surrender. They will.

-John McCain

best thing / worst thing

2008-09-08T19:07:00.002-05:00

since zach's been in school, i've been trying to stick to a best thing / worst thing about the day... otherwise he says he doesn't remember anything.

today i asked him what the best thing was... and the conversation went a little something like this...

z. "i don't know... oh, ice cream."

m. "you didn't have ice cream today."

z. "oh yeah, that was the other day."

m. "so what was the best thing?"

z. "i dunno."

m. "what was the worst thing?"

z. "i got a yellow face."

(the goal is to have a green face... yellow is middle... red is bad)

m. "oooohhh. why did you get a yellow face?"

z. "i dunno"

m. "well let me see...."

i pull out his folder to read this note from his teacher...

" Zachary has been eating the other
children's erasers off their pencils. "

that was unexpected.

so we had a discussion about all the reasons why eating erasers isn't a good idea.... while i did my best to suppress the laughter welling up inside me.

oh, the reason for eating the erasers...

z. "i like them"

fair enough.

politics on the brain

2008-09-07T03:15:00.004-05:00

what a busy time of year... the THIRD week of school is starting tomorrow... i can't believe how time fly's.

i'm excited about the upcoming election... FINALLY... after watching the republican national convention. so much so i've already been online to order my yard sign and bumper stickers. i even signed up to go door to door! what was i thinking?

busy... busy... busy

heard this song today... liked it

2008-08-28T23:00:00.003-05:00

counting my blessings

2008-08-23T19:32:00.005-05:00

i've been asking God a lot lately why bad things keep happening to me.

it just seems like i've been taking one hit after another lately.

i think He gently reminded me of something today.

i used to really not like the song, Praise You In This Storm, by Casting Crowns.

it's hard to do, praise God when things are bad.

until a few years ago, when looked back and saw through my lifetime the countless number of times i experienced storms... and on the other side of every one was something far better than what i had before.

so i've learned, to praise God not only during a storm... but for the storm.

it's really hard to do, when it's happening. but i have faith that God has some reason for all this.

now i love the song, and i'm so thankful to God every time i hear it. storms aren't fun, but they're a part of God's plan... and even feels like He's working on something.

i remember when i had to leave my husband under not so good circumstances... i had been a stay-at-home mom with zachary for two years. i had to find a job, and there were NO job openings in my field.

talk about a storm.

i took a leap of faith and started a job, in sales of all things. i was successful, in spite of myself. but i HATED my job. it was not the field or job for me... but it lead me to my current employer. i'm so very blessed to work for people and a company that i adore and respect.

so... bring on the storm. i'm in God's hands.

i need a "seacrest out"

2008-08-19T20:35:00.001-05:00

i don't have a good "out" line

my friend pinky has a great one.... "Steady on,"

i'd like to have something to take for a test drive.

any suggestions?

2008-08-18T12:30:00.003-05:00

we saw my sister and her family recently, for the first time in over a year. watching zach interact with is cousins was so precious.

i wish i had been able to video tape every moment...

this one in particular was the cutest thing i have ever heard. my niece, kyla, was born ten days before zach.... and are now both four and a half years old. they were discussing God as i listened and tried to record every word to memory. the conversation went something like this:

z: did you know there's blood in your head?

k: yeah, you know that there's blood in your eyes?

z: my eyes?

k: everyone's eyes.

z: can you see the blood in my eyes?

k: no, it's like God in your heart.

z: what?

k: like God is in your heart.

z: not my heart.

k: yes He is... or you'd be dead

z: mom!!???

k: He's in your heart or you would be dead. He's in everyone's heart...

z: how does that work?

k: all the blood goes out of you and you die.

z: oh. how does God get in your heart.

k: i don't know...

z: i think he divides himself in to lots of little gods and crawls into your heart. God can do anything, He can do that. what do you think?

k: yeah, maybe.

z: mom?

m: yeah?

z: how does God get in your heart?

m: well, it's like this... God lives in heaven... but he has a spirit, that is called the Holy Spirit. the Holy Spirit lives on earth and can divide Himself like you guys were saying to live in everyone's heart.

thinking pause...

k: i think it's robots.

z: yeah, it's robots.

mystery solved

song of the moment...

2008-08-14T19:12:00.002-05:00

to feel bad... or not to feel bad?

2008-08-13T19:07:00.004-05:00

that is the question... for today anyway.

yesterday i was in the grocery store picking up a few things and z asked for some gummie-worms.

i said "no"

he shoved them back on the shelf, crossed his arms, and huffed... mumbling something under his breath i couldn't understand.

anyway, the lady in front of us kept staring at him... then me... then back at him. looking us up and down.

i'm used to us attracting attention... but usually i get a laugh, or a knowing nod or wink. but she relentlessly looked us over with disgust.

i gave her the what-look.... you know the one... shrugged shoulders, hands palm up.

to which she replies... "don't look at me, i'm not the incompetent parent whose child is throwing a fit in the store."

i was actually impressed at the way zach handled that. he was disappointed... but didn't take it to the extreme.

she kept staring at me... expecting a response. obviously looking for a fight.

so i just gave her my most sincere empathetic look and said in my sweetest voice ... "it must be so sad, being you."

she turned bright red and for a second i thought she was going to hit me... then tears welled up in her eyes. she didn't look at me again... finished checking out, then left.

normally i don't think i would have responded... but she happened to catch me at a time when i've been REALLY stressed, tired, and a bit edgy.

plus she was talking about my kid... and that brings out the fighter in me.

the cashier was grinning ear to ear at me.... but i couldn't rejoice. i felt too bad.

i can't help feeling bad.

but then again... people shouldn't go looking for trouble.

i simply do not understand people that obtrusively involve themselves in other's personal business.

i'm EXTREMELY shy, a little anti-social, and somewhat private. yet, i seem to attract all the weirdo's that butt in where they don't belong.

anyway... i'm torn between feeling just in that she got what she deserved... and feeling bad for not just turning the other cheek.

the ATTACK of the CRAZY NEIGHBOR... or something like that

2008-08-08T18:33:00.019-05:00

today ranks up there in the top of my worst days ever.

ugh!

i'm a wreck after this morning's incident.

i guess it's my own fault... because as i was going to sleep last night i thought to myself..."what's number three?"

bad things always come in three's...

yesterday zachary stuffed a tiny ball up his nose. i called our doctor (who pulled a rock from zach's nose about a year ago) but it was after 5pm and the nurse said to go to the emergency room......

in a last stitch effort to avoid that nightmare... i plugged the opposite nostril and told him to blow. on the third try the little yellow ball went flying across the room.

... THEN... after dinner and a bath we were brushing our teeth. i left zach to go floss and upon my return he had emptied the toothpaste onto the counter and proceeded to eat it.

why is my four and a half year old acting like he's going through the terrible twos again???

anywho... i called poison control and after assessing that he would had to have eaten over a half a tube to be toxic, she gave me some instructions... which required me to stay up for a few more hours and monitor him. he's fine.

as it happens... number three hit this morning. and boy was it a doozie.

my sister dropped off my niece for the morning, the kids were playing and i was working in my office when the doorbell rang profusely.

i hurry to see who it is... and it's the crazy neighbor.

i open the door... hesitantly... and she begins bellowing at me that her dogs have been attacked and she thinks it was my dogs. she demands that i come over to her house immediately.

of course i can't with the kids here so i tell her "let me go to the back" and i hurry to our backdoor... only to find my two sweet dogs half asleep on my patio. ???

i go outside and over to the fence and see her two lhasa apso's jumping at her feet... looking pretty beat up. one's eye is bloody and the other has blood on his little neck. so sad. she said his eye is coming out of it's head... but it's a lhasa apso. don't they do that anyway?

my neighbor begins yelling at me and telling me that my dogs come into her back yard "all the time" through a hole in her fence.

i notice small dog poop in my yard where i'm standing and say "looks like yours come over here too"

"yes" she replies... "they go back and forth all the time" ... and then begins to yell at me about that.

it's her darn fence.

but nonetheless... i humor her then ask "why haven't you told me about this?"

this is the woman to comes banging on my door when any dog in the neighborhood barks. my dogs were fast asleep in my bedroom one afternoon and she came over accusing them of barking and disturbing her nap. there are dogs at EVERY house on my block.... next door... behind us... they're everywhere. my dog's reside in the house most of the day... and sleep locked in every night. yet still she insists they bark at night. i've tried explaining that it's impossible... but no... to her, it's them.

what can i do? the woman is impossible.

she yells at me for even questioning why she hasn't told me about the hole before and then demands that i come with her to the vet. "you're taking responsibility for this" she yells at me.

i try to rationalize with her to no avail. she's just an irrational screaming mess.

she threatens me.... cusses at me ... and freaks out zach and grace... so i tell her i'll have to talk to her about it when she calms down. and we go back inside.

then... animal control shows up at my door. almost instantly. they were in the area because a pit bull has been on the loose and attacked a beagle up the road.

so i give my side of the incident to the officer... let her know that my dogs seemed to be asleep when the attack occurred. i told her she should look in to the possibility of it being that pit bull that attacked my neighbors dogs... and she leaves shortly after.

so then my neighbor comes banging on the door again... "what are you going to do about this"

"my sister will be here this afternoon, i'll come talk to you about it then"

then she rants off... ending with "if your dog attacks my son in a wheelchair i'll own you!"

i'll own you???

she has a 22 year old son with cerebral palsy who sits in the front yard a lot in his wheelchair. zach calls him "my friend"

she comes BACK over a few minutes later and begins her threats and demands again... so i ask her to leave, "you're upsetting my child" .. i say "i'll have to come talk to you this afternoon"

to which she replies "B-TCH" "you f-ing b-tch"

i mean... who does that? what kind of person acts that way? it's not like i did anything to her... IF anything... my dog messed up. but that is SO highly unlikely i'm not even willing yet to look at that as a possibility.

so i slammed the door in her face.

took some deep breaths.

then called the police. yep... i did.

the deputy i spoke to was really nice, and he said based on her actions i should file a trespassing order to keep her away from us.

i didn't do that... but i told him that if she comes back over here i will.

then, a few hours later, the sheriff of the county calls me. evidently the crazy lady is after me and i think he took pitty on me ... said he would drop everything if maddie, my sweet mellow little lab mix, is removed from his county.

well... what he actually said was that as long as i live next to the wacktard, maddie can't be in the county... but if i move then there would be no issue.

so basically... they don't think my dog is dangerous... but because craziness won't let it go.... she's forced his hand and me and my dog have to take the fall.

so... my sweet dog has to go. it's not right... it's just not right.

she's going back to live with my ex-husband, permanently.... which will be fine.

z's a little sad... but such is life i guess.

i'm mostly upset about being attacked by miss crazy pants.... and that this is my neighbor. she actually said to me "i've had nothing but problems with you since you've moved in"

me!?! i don't have parties, i don't even own a stereo, and i'm in bed by 10:00 every night. i hardly ever see her... and when i do i try to avoid her. i just don't get it.

so... it's been one big fat bummer of a day.

meal of the week...the best salmon in town

2008-08-07T18:16:00.015-05:00

if your a "foodie" like me you love trying the "best" of whatever it may be.

i've had some good salmon... but nothing compares to the grilled salmon my best friend's husband fixed for us on my recent vacation to el paso.

store bought... FROZEN salmon fillets. who'd of thunk it!

he grilled them... but i cooked them in the oven.

simply wonderful.

add saffron rice... from the little yellow bag.

yum.

and some asparagus... with a little salt and butter buds....

and my friends.... THIS is the best salmon in town.

i gua-ron-tee it!

AND... for the frugal gourmet... keep the left over salmon for tasty salads during the week!

here's soap in your eye...

2008-08-06T20:28:00.016-05:00

or is it spit... or mud? either way, it's a dumb saying. but it just so happens to be what popped in to my head when i began this blog.

single parenting can have its advantages.... as an independent person, i prefer having the ultimate say-so in the happenings of my child. there's that... and the absence of a stinky man around.

there are plenty of disadvantages to boot... most have to do with time and money. i know the same issues exist with two parent households. but in the single parents world the time factor gets to be a bit tricky. for example, i have to pay someone to mow my lawn because i can't watch my kid and mow at the same time.

as a single parent, you can't say "i'll be right back" and run to the store without stopping first to find shoes, take a potty break, check the car seat... and then there's the ever so challenging "can i have that..."

and a single parent has to plan simple things like showering around naptime... or plan to get up early. i've skipped showering all together at times because the schedule just didn't allow for it.

now that z's a bit older, i've found ways to keep him entertained while i'm in the shower.... mostly with the use of the television and spongebob squarepants. you are free to judge me all you want. spongebob used to be off-limits in this household... but it seems to be the only show that captures his full attention and therefore you do what you gotta do.

so... saturday morning when i woke up early to shower it was inevitable that zach would follow suit. i fed him breakfast and plopped him down in front of the television carefully selecting little einsteins, an all time favorite of mine. after a quick briefing of the rules... no going outside... come get me if the doorbell or phone rings... etc... i was off to the shower.

ahhh! five minutes of alone time.

until i hear the jingle of a dog collar and open the sower curtain to reveal maddie, our black lab mix, licking water from the side of the tub. my first thought "oh no, i can't remember the last time i watered the dogs!" ... quickly followed by "how the heck did she get in here?"

clutching a towel to my chest i dart for the living room dripping water. the back door is wide open... which is not only upsetting because it's against the rules... but we have a small pool set up and zach can't swim. so, with nothing but a towel covering everything but my butt, i race out the door and strait to the pool. he's not in there... whew! so now on to the next problem... where is he?

i begin calling his name... but he's not responding. i search the back yard, which by the way has very little privacy from the neighbors. i'm just relying on the fact that they're either asleep or not at home. after traipsing all over the yard and calling his name, i finally spot him hiding IN the house under the end table.... uh, yeah.

as i'm heading back to the door, the shampoo dripping from my head finally reaches my eye and OUCH! shampoo in the eye hurts ya'll. it hurts bad! i reach the door and have to remove the towel from my naked body to wipe the mud off my feet that accumulated while i was searching through the yard. i close the door, and with my one good eye i look at zach, still under the table and say, "we will discuss this when i am out of my shower." then in a bit of a louder voice "DON'T GO OUTSIDE AGAIN!"

so... i get back in the shower and try to rinse the soap from my burning eye.

i get dressed, get zach dressed, and spend the rest of the morning running errands looking like a mom who just walked out of the gas pipe at 4:20.... cursing myself for not just letting him watch spongebob!

sigh.

climbing the walls...

2008-07-20T09:19:00.002-05:00

not just an expression.

Independence Day Celebration

2008-07-12T10:09:00.007-05:00

What a day!

What an awesome place for fireworks.

We sat out by the lake, enjoyed watermellon, parachuters, neon sticks... and a beautiful fireworks display.

Couldn't have been a more perfect day.

take me to the zoo...

2008-06-28T08:45:00.018-05:00

at zachary's request we visited the zoo.

there is no real zoo in austin, only a rehabilitation center, so we drove to the san antonio zoo. i've been there twice before, once as a child and once with my nieces before zach was born. both times i remember it being a really great zoo.

we were both just as excited about going. we are both animal fanatic's!

upon entering the zoo, our first stop was to admire the flamingos. they were beautiful... but i couldn't help noticing how green and polluted the water looked.

zachary very animatedly exclaimed... "shew weee what's that smell!?"

i started an explanatory reply...

"well, we are at the zoo and there will be many different sme--"

when the very smell in which he was speaking of hit me and i started to gag. i tried to stop... but couldn't. it was absolutely the worst smell i have ever encountered.

both of us gagging... we walked away as fast as possible, and unknowingly passed right by the reptile exhibit. (reptiles are zachary's favorite)

zachary kept saying "i'm going to throw up... i'm going to throw up"... to which i would say "i know honey, me too."

we kept walking to free ourselves from the smell, but apparently weren't quick enough and he blew chunks. i stooped to make sure he was okay, but i had no doubt it was from the smell alone.

as i was cleaning him up and getting him a drink of water, we were distracted by a loud howling noise. we searched on to see where it was coming from, and were amused to find these two bears.

the lower one was poking at and howling at the one resting above in the cave... then that one would yell back. finally the other responded by crossing the pin to where his food dish was and slammed it around, obviously very perturbed. it was really pretty funny!

next were the monkeys. momentarily hindered once again by a different, but still putrid smell, yet determined to have a good time we enjoyed them from a distance. one was in the mood to entertain, and z and i cracked up as he bounced around... taking time to look at each of us with an animated expression.

our next stop was really neat... walking through a stone tunnel and looking through glass panes we saw lemurs and wild cats. there were no bad smells here... but i couldn't help but notice that the water in every exhibit was green and full of debris.

we next came to the indoor aquarium where saw lots of beautiful fish, hippopotamuses.... and more dirty green water.

the african exhibit was a total disappointment. it was undergoing re-construction and there were no lions, no giraffes, only one zebra, one elephant, and a rhinoceros in the entire exhibit!

once again the smells were horrid... and comments from everyone confirmed that i was not being overly sensitive. mothers were not allowing their children to view the animals because the smell was so bad. even so... the rhino smells were nothing like the flamingo's earlier.

the rest of the exhibit was barren and dry. a dirt path with tall brown grass and no animals to enjoy... walking on the dirt in view of all the dry grass exhausted zachary and he determined then that he was ready to go home.

on the way out we stopped by the reptile exhibit. this was z's favorite. turtles, snakes, lizards... and air conditioning. we stayed in there for a long time.

on the way out, we were once again hit with the flamingo smell. i covered my nose with the map, and zachary once again, threw up.

i tore off a piece of the map for him to hold over his nose, and we hurried out of the zoo.

across the street we stopped for a 20 minute train ride, which was pretty fun.

our next stop was downtown at a really great authentic mexican food restaurant. then... home!

what a day!

although i think he enjoyed himself... all zachary can say is "the zoo is gross, and stinky!" hopefully i'll be able to change his mind soon. i think a visit to the fort worth zoo is in order.

the name game

2008-06-22T17:38:00.016-05:00

zachary is learning to write his name. well... the letters in his name anyway.

he's very good about practicing. in fact, if it can be written with or written on, he has used it to practice his art of name creating.

for example my to do list...

my desk calendar...

my bills...

i even opened my checkbook to find...

i'm so encouraged that he is finally showing an interest in learning his letters, that his lack of discretion in where to practice is easily forgiven.

last weekend, all his hard work was shown to have paid off when he brought me this...

isn't it beautiful!??!!

it may not be perfect... but there are definite letters. Z A C H..... all in a row

can you see it?

it's the most beautiful thing, i believe, as mom, i have ever received.

things that make you go hmmmmmm?

2008-05-29T08:53:00.006-05:00

z, calling to me from the bathroom:

"mommy!"

"yes?"

"mommy, do clowns poop balloons?"

...

another day... another antic

2008-05-26T16:18:00.007-05:00

i've been trying to teach zachary that making smaller messes while playing means less cleaning time. it hasn't sunk in yet.

i'm a firm believer in leading by example.

he's a good mess maker... as am i. but i'm a good cleaner... i just hope he gets there one day. soon.

i've spent all memorial day cleaning... and zachary was supposed to clean his room. well... so far he's managed to get most of his toys scattered throughout the house back into his room.

i've tried making him stay in his room and not come out until it's clean... which usually leads to a larger mess and amusing antics.

today's antic... mr. pantshead

the superhero that doesn't have to clean his room.

electrolytes and children's health....

2008-05-20T09:03:00.013-05:00

i stumbled across some pretty important information regarding the health of your children last week. in my experience as a mother, i've found that there are so many things, important items of information, that seem to go undisclosed.

in an earlier post i talked about not knowing so many things that have the potential to cause serious conditions in your children... things that no one talks about. for example, i never knew to count poops in the first few days after my son was born. you are supposed to count poops to insure they are getting enough food... this is extremely important if you are breast feeding because otherwise it's impossible to tell how much milk they are getting. well... i didn't know that and my son, who was born perfectly healthy, developed jaundice because he wasn't getting enough milk. it was caught in the hospital the day we were supposed to leave and we were sent home with a billieblanket. nothing serious happened and he was perfectly fine.

still... this was a major concern for me because he was at a stage 11... and brain damage occurs at stage 14.

i had read all the books, watched TLC for months... done everything i knew to prepare... and within the first few days... failed.

as a result, i'm quick to take zach to the doctor and always ask dozens of questions.

recently my three year old niece was running a low grade fever. my sister is mom to three little girls... and has much experience in how to handle a sick child. as any good mother would, she stayed up with her, bringing her water as she requested it throughout the night.

the next morning my niece had a seizure.... a four minute seizure. the paramedics rushed her to the hospital where she had another seizure. dozens of tests were run, including a cat scan and spinal tap.

it turns out it was a lack of sodium. all the water drinking flushed the sodium from her system, causing the seizures.

evidently now they're saying 8 glasses of water is not so important anymore... drink water if you think you need it... but be sure to get your electrolytes....gatorade/powerade.

really?

i think this is an important fact every parent should know.

don't light saber the dogs

2008-05-07T22:18:00.004-05:00

i sometimes find myself laughing... when i should be disciplining. there's just so much that a four year old boy does that will surprise and amuse.

how can you not laugh while saying...

"no, you may not pee in the grass... i don't care if you're a dog"

"i don't thing juno (dog) wants to ride your scooter"

"your gum did not crawl over there all by itself. no, it didn't"

"putting on a mask does not change who you are... you're still you and you're still in time out"

"grace isn't even here... she did not turn on all these lights on"

"getting mad isn't going to make those gloves help you climb the wall"

"the turtles do NOT like it when you "scare" them"

"don't light-saber the dogs...."

Seven Random Things

2008-05-06T20:33:00.012-05:00

my big sis tagged me with a post topic... seven random things about myself.

this is a difficult topic... but i will try to think of the least boring seven things. :)

1. i love books. it seems i haven't had the time lately to read much, but that hasn't stopped me from collecting. i love half-price book stores... because usually they are waaaay less than half price and you can pick up several good ones. i once was a barns and noble junkie, because you can read and go... but who has time for that anymore??? i collect the classics, although they take quite a while to read...

2. the perfect get away for me would be a secluded island somewhere... with my family. i imagine myself lounging on the beach with a good book, a spread of fresh tropical fruit, and some coconut milk. (is coconut milk even good? i sure hope so.) i'm relaxing and watching my son and nieces build sand castles and collect shells. someone else is taking care of everything, because i'm just relaxing.

3. i'm a homebody. i never go out. i've lived in austin for six years and saw some of it for the first time last month, when a friend came to visit. since becoming a mom i just find it more relaxing to be at home. no wrangling up sitters and worrying all night if everything is okay.

4. i have a crazy neighbor. she talks non-stop, asks a dozen questions, never waiting to hear a reply. i try not to make eye contact... but that usually ends with her yelling at me to get my attention. she is always on hyper-drive and over-dramatizes everything. she came over once to tell me my dog was barking... it ended up being her dog, but the weirdest part about that event was that she rang my doorbell about fourteen times non-stop. weird. i'm pretty unapproachable, so the fact that she even feels comfortable coming over points a lot towards her craziness. hey, there's another thing about me.

5. i'm unapproachable. i don't try to be... well, maybe i do. i like people... most people... the majority i would say. but i'm quite shy and i get nervous and stumble over my words, so i try to steer clear of confrontation... well communication really of any sort, unless absolutely necessary. or, unless you are a close friend or loved one, of whom i have very few. (consider yourself lucky :) )

6. music makes me happy. i'm not musically talented... but i love to listen. i love rhythm and bass. i'm not a band freak... or concert junkie. i don't really like concerts... all the people, and you can't really hear the music. i did attend a smithereens concert once that was pretty awesome.... but i also saw u2 and was just annoyed most of the night because the jerk beside me kept spilling beer on my sandaled feet. (worst date ever) anywho... my point is i love music itself. yes lyrics, and yes the vocals... but mostly the music.

7. i love the Lord. i don't say it often enough, to anyone but Him.... He's held me and guided me through a whirlwind of a life and He's still right here beside me. i'm thankful and grateful for where i am because of Him and try in every way to be who and what He wants me to be. i find it difficult to discern what that is, but i try.

so... i'm tagging kim. tag, you're it.

strep throat...

2008-05-03T09:22:00.005-05:00

me... not him.

i feel terrible! fever, chills, aches... and the worst pain in my throat. excruciating!

i hope i'm feeling better by the time little spidey gets it... i hope he doesn't... but i'm sure it's inevitable. that is, if you can get strep twice in one year. if so... poor little guy.

he's been so great, sitting next to me as i shiver in bed... looking up from his coloring and cartoons long enough to pat my back and say "i'm going to be your best doctor, 'cause you're my best doctor"

that's good medicine.

green schmeen!

2008-04-30T12:44:00.010-05:00

i'm all about taking care of the planet. i love to garden... i grow things. i try to stick to whole grains and natural or "organic" foods at the grocery store. i look forward to the advances we are making towards chemical-free food processing, recycling, and conservation... but there's got to be a balance.... a happy medium between hemp-toting, straw-house-living hippies and the everyday american mom.

i have bricks in my commode, open my windows on cool days, recycle some things, collect rain for my plants... heck, i've even pulled out tote bags to carry with me to the grocery store in lieu of the evil plastic bag.

however... it dawned on me that my son most likely contracted pinworms on our last visit to the whole foods headquarters in austin. i would guesstimate that the largest concentration of the unmediated and unvaccinated frequent such places... it's not my intent to judge that decision, however i choose steer clear of the disease carrying masses.

it's a personal choice, and as with anything each person has to be happy with their choices made. i love the environment... even moreso i love a sanitary environment. i need lysol and clorox. so don't judge me because i will not be trading in my germ-demolishing chemicals for apple-cyder vinegar and corn starch. i will continue to scrub my tub and toilet with bleach... and leave the lemon juice and baking soda for my poppy-seed muffins!

HELP!

2008-04-29T10:34:00.010-05:00

i was running spidey's bath as he went potty, then asked...

"does my buddy jax have a tee tee?" (referring to his... okay, i can't even type the word)

"yes."

"he does?"

"uh huh."

"but you don't?"

"no, i'm a girl."

"what kind of tee tee's do girls have?"

(...pause.... deep breath.... think)

"girl tee tee's."

(..."whew, dodged that one!" ... then)

"what do girl tee tee's look like?"

"huh?"

"what do girl tee tee's look like mommy?"

"ummmm...okay, your bath's all ready, hop in!"

holey spidey undies batman! i'm not prepared for this! just another issue not covered in the multitude of books i've read. HELP! how do i address this???

he has WHAT?

2008-04-25T19:11:00.004-05:00

"uummmm, what?"

that is a phrase commonly uttered by me to the various doctors my son has seen during his little lifetime.

i remember "nesting" the months before i gave birth... we had new carpet installed in our tincy tiny apartment... then i had it steam cleaned.

that little place was so easy to sterilize. i had this notion that a sterile environment would lead to a healthy kid.... and that breastfeeding and staying home with him would help dodge illnesses.

ha!

i avoided giving medicines, and read every book published on what to expect, breastfeeding, and parenthood.

i don't believe any of those authors have ever actually raised a child.

i don't recall reading anything about billieblankets, ear tubes, BRAT diet, scarlet fever as a result of strep throat, recurring pneumonia, breathing treatments, rocks in ears and noses, salivary gland infections... when to go to the doctor right away and when you don't really need to go (i always goof that one up) and now.... pinworms?

apparently it's the most common parasitic infection among north american children??? really?

sooo... anyone can get them... but mostly it's kids. they're highly contagious... you can ingest or inhale the eggs.... (vomit)... the worms develop in the intestines... (vomit) and at night the female worm (vomit) leaves the nest in the intestine (vomit) to lay her eggs in a jelly-like (vomit) substance around the edge of the anus. (vomit)... apparently this causes severe itching.... so the child scratches their butt and the eggs are transmitted through the air and on anything they touch.

so.... yeah

now i get to disinfect the entire house.

and wash..... everything in hot water.

good times!