Indiscretions and Exercise

This weekend has had its fair share of dietary indiscretions. For starters, Saturday mornings seem incomplete without syrup and something cakey. So, I made whole wheat waffles and we ate them with Agave Nectar, which is very much like maple syrup, but less watery.

That wasn’t too bad.

Saturday night, however, was Scout night with the Dallas Stars and Z and his dad went to the hockey game where they indulged on pulled pork nachos and… da da da daaaaa cotton candy!

Sunday morning we started our day with the appropriate protein and caffeine, and in addition began the Attend supplement. Z sat relatively well through the church service, and I actually received four comments from friends sitting behind us who said they were impressed with how well he did. Feeling super proud of the little guy, I went to pick him up after Sunday School only to find that he had not been so well behaved there. He had placed his name tag on his bottom and refused to move it, had made inappropriate noises during the lesson, and wrote his name in crayon on the table top, five times! His teachers were very encouraging, but I was very embarrassed.

With a brain consumed by the morning events, my car somehow drove itself to my favorite Italian restaurant where I post haste ordered a feast of grilled chicken, prosciutto, mushrooms, pasta, lemon, butter, olive oil, bread, mozzarella, feta, and parmesan…. followed by tiramisu. To my credit, this was the first time in 34 years that I left half a tiramisu on the plate. I simply could not finish it. I came home, plugged in Star Wars and fell into a deep slumbery Sunday afternoon nap.


When I woke I laid in bed for a while and meditated on the days events, our dietary journey, and my failures and successes moving us through it. I realized the peace and sense of ability that has steadily increased in me over the past few weeks. I've gone from utterly overwhelmed and needing to get us to a state of "fixed" ... to a willingness and openness to take each day as it comes and deal with it the way God has empowered me to do so. I recognized that I’ve been supremely stressed out and filled with worry about what decision to with Z, and once that decisions made, even more worrisome that it was not the right one. Our sermon this morning was on nothing other than worry and how we allow Satan to be victor with it consumes our lives.

The words that kept entering my mind were, one day at a time, do the best you can, and let God handle the rest. The movie now over, I could hear Z had gone on to his bedroom to reenact the scenes with his action figures. In my best effort to put on my big girl britches and be carefree, I told Z to get his tennis shoes on and we set out for an early evening bike ride.

This being our second attempt to ride together, I knew to expect the first quarter mile to be up hill. Then, we would reach the mostly level trail. I pushed, and pushed, and pushed ... all the way up to the top. Well, almost to the top. When I had the trail entrance in site I heard Z yell out from behind me… “mommy slow down.” I knew if I slowed down I would never make it, and I was right. I stopped and waited for him to reach me and that is were we stayed for the next three to four minutes while I endeavored to catch my runaway breath. Unsuccessful, I walked my bike to the trail entrance. We rode for a good little bit, but did not make it to the end of the trail. My body failed me and I turned us around, with tomorrows goal being to actually reach the end. Home is downhill, no pedaling involved so we were back to our house lickedy split.

My heart still pounding and my throat sore from sucking in deep breaths of cool night air, I sent Z to the bathtub and fell backward onto the sofa to recover. Once the shock wore of, I was nauseated. So I ate a banana and fixed Z a light dinner. I threw away the leftover container from our Italian feast and vowed to never again mix indiscretions with exercise.

Even as miserable as it was, I will conquer riding a bike. It will one day be as fun as it used to be. So far this journey to health has been very different than I expected. It’s been easier in many ways and tougher in some. The best thing is that it’s teaching me to slow down and to realize and enjoy the goodness God has provided through nature. I'm also learning to enjoy the provisions of grace, forgiveness, and the peace that comes by relinquishing control and trusting God.

A little bit of India and some of Italy...

My childhood best friend and her family have moved to the very city we call home! Her husband is a minister and for a few years now they have been patiently waiting for God’s direction. They have recently received a much awaited answer to prayer, and with it so have I. I love where we live, as well as the people here who have blessed our lives. But I still long for the friendships I once knew. She and I haven’t lived near each other in almost twenty years… and twenty years ago we were inseparable. So needless to say, their relocation has me very excited.

To welcome them, Tuesday I prepared a grilled hamburger dinner with steamed veggies and an assortment of fruit. We dined, visited, and the kids played... it was a great evening. Unfortunately, Z woke about 1 am Wednesday morning with severe vomiting that lasted almost six hours. I nursed him back with oatmeal and rice, and by dinner he was ready for a peanut butter sandwich.

I am still in search of something other than peanut butter that I can offer on a sandwich.

Today he’s feeling much better and was happily ready to go back to school. This morning's protein shake was altered a little by lessening the amount of protein to two tablespoons, and using ½ tea and ½ organic pressed apple juice – not from concentrate. He really liked this one. I added the protein at the end and stirred it in to keep the consistency of a smoothie so it would be less like drinking air.

Lunch for Z was another peanut butter sandwich on ezekiel bread, with a couple clementine’s and iced tea. I had a mid-morning meeting so by the time lunch rolled around for me I was starving! Not sure what to eat, I perused the pantry and refrigerator a couple times before deciding to try the Holy Land hummus with roasted red pepper. I was pleasantly surprised with the explosion of flavor and the wheels in my brain started churning. I decided it would be really good mixed with rice and tomato. I started the rice and diced up a roma tomato and waited. And waited. And waited… brown rice takes 45 min to cook so it’s usually better to plan ahead when using it. While waiting I sliced up a few strawberries and ate them outside. I came back in and still had a lot of time left, so I snapped off a broccoli floret and dipped it into the hummus. It was so good, that chopped up the remaining head of broccoli and tossed that into my bowl of patiently waiting diced tomato. Finally, when the rice was ready, I drained it, dumped it into the bowl, then added two heaping tablespoons of hummus. Quickly I stirred that up and dove in. This dish now tops the list of my all-time favorite meals. Very savory and flavorful, and took me through the remainder of my day feeling great.

my favorite meal of rice, hummus, tomato and broccoli

The 4pm phone call from Z’s teacher diminished that great feeling. I was glad she called, but each of our conversations leave me with an overwhelming feeling of her incompetence. I know, that’s harsh. As I’ve mentioned before, we have been blessed with amazing teachers up to this point… but this year has been rough in so many ways. On several occasions Ms. X, as I’ll call her, has expressed her exasperation with Z and has no problem admitting that she has no idea what to do with him or how to handle his behaviors. This is her 18th year to teach, and I honestly do not know how she has made it this far. I only hope that our future teachers will have a better handle on how to direct a difficult child. Today, she relayed to me a conversation that she and Z were having which started with her questioning Z about his work, and ended with him saying to her “I’m not going to argue with you about this anymore.” She expressed to me her concern that he took over the authority in that situation. When I asked her how she handled it, she said she was really just confused by it and didn’t know what to say, so therefore just walked away. Hmmm. Well, that explains a lot. As nicely as I could, I explained to her that she should have immediately corrected him and let him know who’s in charge. She agreed, as she always does, but I don’t see that happening. Every suggestion I make, she is responsive to, but when it comes down to it and she is in a situation with Z that requires immediate response, she flounders and eventually becomes overwhelmed. She’s exasperated, confused, and in my opinion inadequately equipped to handle a challenging child. Z has also reported to me on many occasions inappropriate things she has said to him, that I’ve had to address with the administration. She becomes overwhelmed and because she cannot handle the situation appropriately, she resorts to demeaning and hurtful remarks. It’s just been a bad year.

I’ve been pretty open with Z and we discuss things in an almost adult-like manner. I do my best to support Ms. X, especially when speaking to Z, and he knows my expectation is for him to respect and obey all his teachers. For the most part, each of them are able to get him back on track. That’s not to say anyone has had it easy with him, but it all boils down to who is in control… and Ms. X is letting Z win. Our conversation ended with her agreeing that she needed to be more in control. She was heading off to her class, she's getting her Masters degree in education... but later this evening she would review a cd she has on how to handle a defiant child.
I'm just at a loss.

When it was time for dinner, I was feeling pretty discouraged and decided to sit on the patio for a bit and take in the beautiful Central Texas evening. Seeing all that fresh basil I have growing in my herb garden made me decide to somehow incorporate basil into dinner. All this from scratch cooking requires either lots of planning or complete spontaneity. Because I’ve been too busy to plan, spontaneity has been my guide. The only dish I could think of with basil was insalata caprese, so I just went with it. We can't have cheese, so I decided to incorporate the flavors into our standard chicken and rice staples. First I put on the rice… for obvious reasons. Then, in the wok (which has become my favorite pan) I heated a little evoo. Before adding the tomato and basil, I tossed in a small sliced onion just because caramelized onion makes any dish better. To the onion, tomato, and basil mixture, I added thinly sliced chicken breast. I’ve found that slicing chicken very thin and cooking it quickly makes for the tastiest morsels. Although it did not have the taste of caprese, it was very good. Z’s favorite dish so far, he even had seconds.

chicken caprese, a la carrie

We see the Neurologist tomorrow. I have no idea how he’s going to take our new plan. We shall see.

Ciao. Namaste.

Carrie

Wok 'n' Whole Wheat Woll

Last week Z had three and a half great days at school. One was rough, and one would have been great, had it not ended with four six year olds in a wrestling match during recess, one of them being my z-man. All in all though, I’d say it’s going well.

This weekend was Z’s birthday party, so needless to say we had our fill of sweets and treats and all kinds of unhealty additives. But with that behind us, we both embarked on our journey to whole food health with optimism.

It took me most of my evenings last week and a good part of the weekend to plan, and gather, and plan, and learn, and plan, and learn some more about what we would need to embark on our new eating style. I began introducing things here and there last week, but today has been our first full day on the plan.

The day began with eggs and a caffeinated protein smoothie. Protein for alertness and caffeine is the stimulant replacement. The plan says to use coffee, but after much trial and error I’ve altered ours to the following recipe.

CAFFEINATED PROTEIN SMOOTHIE
serves 2

1.5 c brewed black tea – chilled
½ banana - frozen
½ c strawberries – frozen
½ c blueberries – frozen
¼ c egg white protein powder
Blend, and serve

mmm, mmm, good. It actually is the best protein smoothie I’ve made so far. I'm using frozen fruit and not adding any ice. The best way to freeze bananas is to peel and put them in a ziploc bag prior to going into the freezer... peeling frozen bananas is hand torture! The egg white powder creates a light and airy consistency and has no flavor, which is good. This smoothie is sweet, but not too sweet, smooth, and easy to swallow. Z's still not all that crazy about it, but he did agree that it is the best one so far.

For lunch we had grilled chicken salad, with field greens, spinach and cucumbers with vinaigrette dressing. I'm lucky that Z has always enjoyed a good salad. The chicken was prepared last night on the george foreman and set in the fridge. I sent along an afternoon snack of sliced granny smith apples, peanut butter, and a handful of grapes.

When I picked him up at 3:00, the little z-man was STARVING! So I offered edamame, broccoli, and hummus which wasn’t enough to abate the hunger monster. So a quick trip to Sprouts was in order. Luckily, the small whole foods market is just down the street on the corner. I was happy to find organic whole wheat bread, with no preservatives or any of that other stuff we can't have. Since whole grains, including whole wheat, are acceptable on the meal plan, I was pleased to be able to offer a peanut butter and banana sandwich… which Z was most pleased to accept. After scarfing it down he asked for another, but once sandwich number one had sufficient time to settle, he was satisfied. I didn’t have the same hunger, but found myself in need of an extra large cup of joe.

From now on, we will be doing a little more rice and bread during school… salad and fruit isn’t enough for a hungry mini-man. Therefore, I'm adding bread baking to the list of things I need to learn how to do.

By dinnertime, I was hungry. The most challenging part about this endeavor for me, has been figuring out what to cook and how. I love to bake, and I can follow a recipe pretty well, but spontaneity in the kitchen has never been my forte. Unfortunately, I haven’t had much success in finding recipes for entire meals free of all dairy, sugar, starch, and/or something from a can or box. So, I’ve had to create a few recipes by changing up a little bit of what’s already out there.

Tonight was stir fry. I set two frozen chicken breast out to thaw in the refrigerator this morning, so they were ready to wash and go. I sliced them thin and tossed them in the wok with a smidge of evoo. When the chicken was cooked I moved it to a paper plate, and added half a sliced onion and julienned carrots to the wok with a little more olive oil. Once the onions started to carmelize I added some sea salt and pepper, and it was looking so good that I chopped up some broccoli threw that in as well. I decided to try a sprinkling of coriander and ginger because they sound oriental. By the way, Target has small bottles of organic spices for around a dollar each! I bought a few over the weekend and plan to give them a whirl.

When the veggies were all steamed and tender, I returned the chicken, and at the last minute chopped up some parsley and tossed it into the mix. We ate it over brown rice, and it was really, really good. It lacked nothing. The carrots and onion were my favorite part, but everything was fresh and delicious. The best part was, I didn’t have that parched and tired feeling you get after eating traditional stir fry. I felt great, energized, and ready for our outing to the park. In fact I still feel great! Z enjoyed it as well, but with his hunger at ease from the afternon snack, there was plenty left over for my lunch tomorrow. Z, however, will be getting a peanut butter sandwich.

Day one was good, and to my relief not difficult!

Wok on.
Carrie

and so... a new journey begins

it's been quite some time since my last posting, so i feel an update is required. for those of you who may not know, spiderman, also known as z and whom this blog is about, has been diagnosed with ADHD.

per our neurologist there can be mild, moderate, and severe cases of ADHD. z is said to be on the "severe end of severe."

prior to this journey, i was an ADD/ADHD skeptic. believing it to be over diagnosed, (still do) and easily used as a label for any behavioral issue.

z has always been active, some would have considered him to be an over-active toddler and child. even from a very young age, prior to his first birthday, we never failed to attract attention anywhere and everywhere we went. comments and staring just became part of normal life. "boy, you sure have your hands full with him!" was a phrase i heard almost daily from doctors, nurses, family and friends, as well as from strangers and passersby.

z attended a private pre-school and his teacher was an absolute blessing. there were only 9 children in the class so she was able to spend a lot of one-on-one time with him, and she did. she also agreed to tutor him during the summer before he entered kindergarten. she came twice a week for two months and reported that she was amazed at how intelligent z was, because she could not get that kind of performance from him in the classroom.

his main problems have always been listening to and/or understanding direction, completing tasks, and staying still.

though i was potentially aware of the disorder in pre-k, i decided to wait and see how things worked out in kindergarten.

z's first week of kinder, his teacher called me to discuss her "serious" concerns. he was unable to sit during circle time or maintain focus on any given task throughout the day. they move from task to task every 20 - 30 minutes as it is, and he couldn't maintain self control for even 5. he would roll on the floor, sit underneath the tables, blurt out random off-topic thoughts, become easily frustrated, wonder off, and as his teacher described it just "wasn't present".

after a series of school administered tests and multiple visits with teachers and administrators, the results were taken to z's doctor, who then referred us to a psychologist.

the psychologist worked with z for one hour and informed me that she had no doubt that he had ADHD, and saw immediate and immense manifestations.

i was completely turned off by this refused to believe that even a PHD who specialized in the disorder could possibly know so quickly. i did, however, allow her to work with him for the following three months. gradually her reports began to make more sense to me, and i could tell she really understood my child and the disorder. i agreed to allow z to be put on ritalin.

the effect was immediate and amazing. z was given 5mg of ritalin each day. prior to taking the drug, he could not sit still and focus long enough to write his name. on his first ritalin day, he wrote his name with amazing skill and completed all his assigned tasks.

at five years old, he began to ask me if he could take his pill even on weekends, because he could feel the positive effect it had on him. he was able to clean his room, and think the way he wanted.

eventually the dose needed to be increased, as the effectiveness decreased. and of course, we put in to place many behavioral modification techniques as he began treatment with a neurologist.

as kindergarten continued, it didn't take me long to realize we were again blessed with a wonderful teacher. though now in public school, with a classroom of 23 children, she was still able to spend much needed one-on-one time with z. she put in to place many behavioral support materials, and communicated daily with me. z did show vast improvement,compared to his non-medicated self, however the symptoms were still there and sill considered enough to interfere with his social and educational needs.

when first grade began, he was placed on focalin, a slow-release form of ritalin. he has had continued behavioral issues all year mostly manifested from impulse control. however, the drug did seem to assist with his ability to focus and complete tasks. though the effectiveness was random as he would do very well for periods of time, and then have days of complete disorder.

then, over the christmas break, the side effects began. severe headaches were the starting point. after er visits, phone calls to on-call physicians, and many sleepless nights the decision to take z off focalin was made.

the result was a week of absolute chaos. every day he was being sent to the principals office where he spent more time than in the classroom that week. heartache best describes that week.

so, we began concerta. another form of extended release ritalin.

as there are not that many options when it comes to ADHD medication, and he showed such vast improvement when first put on ritalin, it seemed the optimal choice.

after about 20 days on concerta, with symptoms ranging from chest pains, rapid heartbeat, blurred vision, seeing spots, nausea and of course another er visit... concerta was discontinued.

and that is where we are today.

z's neurologist has taken him off medications for another week and plans to begin adderall.

after prayerful consideration, meditation, and more sleepless nights, i have decided otherwise.

based on the fact that he is still manifesting major disorder symptoms, even on the drugs; and the drugs are posing a health risk... it's just not adding up for me.

i've been on both sides of the argument. withholding a medication that he seems to need couldn't possibly be the answer, right? but giving him a medication that is causing severe health problems couldn't be the right thing to do either, could it?

no one with authority on the subject wants to weigh in. all three of his doctors say, it's parents choice.

well, with that being the case. i've chosen. and we're going holistic.

i never really imagined myself saying that, but i'm finding myself open to all possibilities. and the fact remains that even on the drugs, z has been having regular behavioral and learning manifestations of the disorder. the administrators and teachers at his school have my cell on speed dial and call multiple times each week, sometimes multiple times in a day. we've had meetings upon meetings to address nothing other than z's disorder and behaviors. so i have to look at the question: are the potential health risks worth the effectiveness of the drug? my answer is easily no. even if the drugs were working wonderfully i could not continue, given his side effects.

so what does holistic mean exactly? well, for starters, a change in diet that includes no dairy, no breads, no food colorings, obviously no junk foods and sugar, no processed foods, nothing in a can, a box, or pre-packaged, unless that package says ingredients: chicken.

so, how does this vary from what we already do? cutting out the sugar and junk, even the bread is not that big of a deal around here. but my sin is processed foods. just about every recipe i cook includes opening a can, or sprinkling on a chemical filled seasoning. i'm not sure how to make chicken and rice without a can of cream of chicken soup... so some food preparation research will be required.


so, for now, our endeavor is to eat only what God made in its absolute most natural state.

goodbye packaged food

i'm looking forward to this and i pray, i sincerely pray that this will help.

i know it won't be the complete solution. we will of course continue our behavioral therapies, seeing our physicians and therapist, and there are supplements and therapeutic instruments that will be added throughout this process. but, this is where the journey begins.

your prayers for my sanity, and my sons health and well being are deeply desired.

and away we go.

carrie