young love and fake doggie doo doo

"mommy, i want a roller coaster for christmas, okay?"

"well, you can't have a roller coaster for christmas zach, because where would we put it? but maybe we can go somewhere that you can ride a roller coaster. how about we have your birthday party at a place like that?"

"no, we have to have my birthday party at austin park and pizza, because that is where i told sammy it's going to be and i love sammy, she has to be there."

"sammy? who is sammy?"

"she is the most beautiful girl i know. she is prettier than beautiful. i love her so much it makes my stomach hurt."

"um, wow. who's class is she in?"

"she's in my class. i like to sit next to her because i love her, and she is nice and pretty. she is my kiss heart girl. i squeeze love'n to her. i just love my sweetie love heart girl!"

"okay. i don't know who that is, what color is her hair?"

"it's yellow, and her eyes are blue. she is the prettiest girl in the class. she's prettier than beautiful."

"yes, i know. okay."

long silence

"okay then mom, i want fake doggie doo doo for christmas."

captain underpants!

the book fair has been at z's school this week. first the kids preview the books and come home with a list of titles they are interested in. then, parents are invited to shop. i was more excited about the shopping experience than zach. i have a real weakness for books. some of zach and my most enjoyable and memorable moments are when we snuggle up to read a stack of books. there are so many amazing, sweet, funny, silly, gross, educational, heart warming and thoroughly entertaining children's books. i was like a kid in a candy store... seduced by colors, pictures, rhyming words and the smell of fresh cut paper. instead of z asking me for books, i was talking him into them.

"what about this one..."

"mom, we have three books already."

"i know, but look at this one."

unexpectedly he was drawn to chapter books. i wasn't prepared for this. chapter books, at his age? there are no pictures! surely he couldn't be interested in reading a chapter book.

but he was persistent. he wavered over a few different series... but settled on captain underpants. i believe it helped that the cover is of a boy in only underwear and a cape.

could i do this? chapter books... already? i gave in and we began reading the series instead of our usual stack of colorful and clever stories.

if you don't know about the books, they star two mischievous young boys who, among other things, write comic books. their most popular books are of the superhero, captain underpants. to my surprise, zach has been enthralled, anxious to go to bed at night and hear the next installment of captain underpants. i have really enjoyed them as well, and have been reminded that you don't need pictures to have a colorful story.

today, as i was working, z kept coming up to me with atypical questions...

"mom, how do you spell hit?"

"mom, what letter makes the uh sound?"

"mom, can you please write this word for me?"

i wasn't sure what he was doing, but it seemed educational.

tonight, as we snuggled down to read, he presented me with his very own comic book. written and illustrated by zachary.

amazing. simply amazing!

the incredible shrinking woman

do you remember that movie... i barely do.

so maybe i'm not incredible... but i AM shrinking. yep. all my life i've been 5'8"... every time i had to go to the nurses office for one of those school weigh in's i was 5'8". all throughout my pregnancy i was 5"8".

at my six month well check after z was born i measured 5'7". we measured twice just to be sure i'd actually lost an inch. weird, but no biggie compared to all the other stuff your body goes through during pregnancy. i figured i'd streach back out eventually.

today at my well check, i measured in at 5'6".

"66" the nurse said

"that's 5'6", right?"

"that's right"

"but i'm 5'8""

"no, you're 5'6""

"measure again"

"okay...yep, 66"

"humpf"

so i asked my doctor what that's all about... and he said we shrink as we get OLDER.

as if that wasn't bad enough he put me on a diet and made me agree to exercise three times a week. poo on him.

so, on a completely different note... i signed up for PTA tonight at z's parents night. i'm pretty sure i don't have to do anything though. not sure i'll have time with all this exercising i'm gonna be doing.

i don't know how some moms (like my sisters) do all this stuff and keep it together. i had to make a sign and hang it by the front door so i would remember to pack z's two healthy snacks each day. i'm so on information overload.

33

33 feels like 32. today was a good day... and served as a reminder of how blessed i am to have so many wonderful people in my life.

z did quite well this morning. we walked to his class, and i stopped to visit with his teacher about hot lunches. he put his folder away and sat down next to the wall with all the other kids. i walked back down the hall and said, "bye zach." he ignored me.

whatever to him.

thanks mom, dad, steph, brad, and grace for such a wonderful birthday dinner. love you all.

day two of the kinder journey

this morning we were up and ready and to school precisely on time. everything went smoothly, we walked to z's class and waited in the hallway as the kids filed into the classroom.

zach was feeling a little clingy this morning, and wanted to give me several hugs. i willingly obliged. as his turn to enter the room approached, i told him to get his lunch box out of his backpack and get it ready to put on the shelf when he enters the room.

"i want a hot lunch, mom"

"i know you do zach, but we'll have to start that next week. okay?"

"fine."

"good morning zachary!" his teacher called out. he gave her a big smile. good sign. "take your red folder out of your bag and place it in this box. that's our first step every morning."

he took off his backpack and dumped it on the floor.

"pick up your bag and take out the folder and place it in this box." there were people behind us in line, so i picked up his bag and opened it. "take out your folder and put it in the box zach"

as he pulled the folder from the bag, the corner of it nicked his eye. he looked up at me wide eyed and then crocodile tears came pouring down his cheeks.

i kneeled down beside him, and we moved out of the way for the other kids to enter the room. the tears continued to pour as he wiped them away and tried to put on a brave face. "i'm so sorry that happened baby" i kept saying as i helped wipe away his tears. no words, just tears. "are you gonna be alright?" i asked. he nodded in assurance and his teacher gently held him by the arm, urging him into the room.

he turned to face her, but pulled away. she reached for his hand and tugged a little again. he planted his feet, firmly stiffened up and pulled back. it was clear he had no intention of entering the room. neither of them relented. she pulled and he pulled harder. i watched this tug-of-war for a few seconds trying to figure out what i was going to do. i'm lucky in a sense, that it's not often that zach throws such a tantrum. but when he does, he is relentlessly stubborn about it.

so i resorted to bribery.

"do you want to go to the pool tonight?" i whispered in his ear.

he looked at me, reading my face. i could tell the thought appealed to him. his teacher walked away, giving us time to sort this out.

"if you will go into the classroom right now and get a smiley face for the day we will go to the pool tonight."

"okay" he said. he slowly walked in and placed his lunchbox on the shelf. his teacher smiled at him, and he returned it with a sheepish smile also. i could tell he was a little embarrassed.

the principal was making announcements as i walked out of the building. "welcome students to your second day of school! don't worry kinders, you'll get the hang of it soon."

that made me feel better. so now, as i promised, we're off to the pool. round three tomorrow.

first day of school...first day of school...!

zach wasn't quite as excited as little nemo was to go to school. although, he was pretty pumped about getting to use his new spiderman lunchbox. in fact, that seemed to be the only thing that brought a big smile to his face whenever we discussed school.



it's been hard to read if he has been anxious or excited about starting kindergarten. from what i can tell, it hasn't seemed to phase him much. he's pretty good about just going with the flow of things... and i think he's just taking every new adventure in stride.



even though he went to bed early last night, i couldn't get him out of bed this morning. i had to lift him up and set him on the sofa... still half asleep. finally, he got dressed but was still grumpy enough to throw off his shoes and socks three times before finally allowing me to secure them to his feet. he went to bed earlier tonight, so we'll see how it goes in the morning. he hates wearing shoes, so i may have to deal with that for a while.



i was so preoccupied in making sure that he had his nap blanket, water bottle, two healthy snacks, packed lunch, and change of clothes that i totally forgot to grab my camera. luckily for me, his teacher is AWESOME and she emailed the parents a power point first day slide show!!



zach knew the way to his classroom, because we were up there last week for supply drop off night. after observing his teacher that evening he informed me that he already "had the hang" of her. :)



i let him lead the way to class, and when we got there, one of his classmates was red faced and crying. i hadn't prepared myself for crying. it took me by surprise, then zach looked at me and said "what's his problem?" as i was explaining, his teacher came over and said



"hi zach, let me show you to your seat!"



to which he replied "i already know where it is." and headed that direction.



"can i get a hug and a kiss?" i asked. he half-heartedly complied and gave me a quick hug and kiss then bounced off to his seat.



"bye zach" i called to him as i was walking out the door. he didn't even look my direction, already coloring the picture in front of him.



okay then. and i left.



when i picked him up, of course he didn't have much to say about his day.



"it was fun." was all i could get out of him. okay, fine. that's good enough for me.



he couldn't remember, or didn't want to talk about anything they did. but he did oblige me when i asked what his very favorite part of the day was.



"nap time."



"really?"



"yeah."



"what was fun about nap time?"



"it wasn't fun, it was funny."



"it was?"



"yeah, someone tooted and we couldn't stop laughing."



"nice."



then he proceeded to laugh the rest of the way home.

note to self...

this evening as zach and i were on our way home from an unproductive hunt for manila paper, he struck up a conversation about shooting stars. it amazes me how much he knows about stuff we've never talked about before.

the conversation took us through all the various aspects of shooting stars, from making wishes, to what stars are really made of. it didn't seem to bother him too much that any wish he made most likely would not come true... he was more interested in the anatomy of outer space. i'm no astronomer, but i did my best to answer what i could.

after the several moments of silence he took to ponder this new information... the conversation ended like this:

"mom, you need to make sure to remember to look out for shooting stars when we are in outer space."

"yep, that seems like a good thing to remember."

"i don't want us to get hit with a big ball of fire mom. will you remember to look out for shooting stars when we are in outer space."

"i'll do my best, zach."

"mom, i think you need to write it down when we get home."

"okay, will do."

oh no... there's a name for what i am

okay, yeah.... so i'm a twi-mom.

i'm not ashamed. or, maybe i am just a little.

needing something to get me through the three hour flight home, i picked up the first twilight novel in the albuquerque airport.

i had seen movie, and enjoyed it. though the novel was very similar to the movie... i found it much more intriguing. so, i picked up the second novel in the austin airport.

i read it that evening... unable to put it down.

it's not the norm for me to stay up past 10 pm at the latest. however, i couldn't go to sleep. i couldn't believe it when the clock read 5 am, as i finished 'new moon', and turned out the light. i fell in love with the characters.

it's written in first person narrative, so i believe that is why, as a reader, i was able to relate to the main character, bella. i'm not sure though, if i were a teen, i would have been able to feel what i felt while reading it.

maybe teens now-a-days are ready for this. but i would not have been.

besides the fun and mystical aspect of the supernatural... the romance is beyond anything i've ever read. yes, austenites.... even jane wasn't able to provoke the same raw gut wrenching emotions.

the next day i purchased the the final two books and had completed the entire saga by the end of the week. the second and fourth book are my favorites.

book one - twilight - is a prelude... getting to know the characters and relationship development

book two - new moon - is beyond words.... a heart breaking tear jerker

book three - eclipse - is more plot development

and book four - breaking dawn - is the ultimate ending. i cried tears of joy. okay, i sobbed. jerking.. violent... sobs.

really, i did.

don't shake your head at me... you don't know.

so. needless to say i am quite impressed with the author and wait in anxious anticipation with all the tweens for the release of the movie sequel.

if you can't wait either... you can enter to win premiere tickets here:
http://apps.facebook.com/twilightprizes/?refuid=585350339

it's been a while...

i haven't had much spare time... so blogging has taken the back burner. although, this evening something happened that i wanted to share.

i took z to the doctor today... again. he has an ear infection...again, and he tested positive for strep throat. luckily, he's not feeling too bad.

on the way to the pharmacy to pick up his medicine, we passed a transient. z has a thing he likes to do to people on the street... and we both get a kick out of it. he likes to roll the window down and yell questions... or a simple "hi" to the people. i enjoy seeing how they respond, z just enjoys getting to yell out the window.

so he asked me to roll down the window so he could yell at the transient. i said, "no, he looks sad. i don't think he will think it is funny."

"he does look sad. what does his sign say."

i read it, it wasn't a clever one, it just simply said "trying to survive."

boy did that hit home. i feel the same way, a lot. and yet, i have a house and a bed to sleep in at night.

zach wanted to know what that meant, so i explained that some people don't have homes, or food, or money.

"can we give them our money mommy?"

"i don't have any money, zach."

"just enough money to buy my medicine?"

"yep, that's about all i have."

"can we give it to him anyway?"

my eyes teared up, and i was so proud.

"you need your medicine zach, i'll see what i may have to give to the man as we drive back by."

he was thrilled, and squealed with delight. he asked dozens more questions as we made our way through the store and back to the car. he couldn't wait to help the man.

"i hope he won't be sad anymore." he kept saying.

by the time we made it back, he was gone.

"i bet he's over in those trees going peep and poop."

we made a loop around the block once to see if we could find him. we were both so disappointed. but, zach put the dollar in his door, ready to give to him, next time he saw him.

i've never given this much thought to the life of a transient. in fact, i try to avoid thinking about it. although doing so tonight kinda made my problems seem just a little more bearable.

ahhhh... now i remember

i had forgotten why i never watch tv anymore.

feeling a bit out of touch, i tuned in to american idol last night.

at first, i thought something was wrong with my television speakers... but the judges confirmed it was the contestants and not my tv. the first three were beyond painful to watch.

i turned off the tv, but after a few minutes couldn't withstand my curiosity and turned it back on.... i had to see if they were ALL going to be as terrible.

i should have left it off.

THAT GUY! what is up with that weird-o guy? i felt like i was lost in the twilight zone... or possibly had tuned into a mad tv spoof of a.i.... unfortunately it was legit, and i needed a shower after his act, i was all kinds of creeped out.



the red-head was good. really good. and the last guy, decent but but it was too little to late for me. i'm off tv again. i'm stickin' to my weekend viewing of dvr'd bones episodes.

on the plus side, i got to see the following commercial, which in my opinion was the best thing on tv last night. z and i rewound it and watched it about five times. it just doesn't get old.

running on empty...

i am exhausted!

time keeps slipping away from me. i have made a recent effort to stop myself from thinking about what's next, and try to focus on what is happening now, because i'm missing it. missing the present by worrying about the future.

it's hard to do, but i've been able to clear my head and focus on what is currently going on a couple of times, and i like it. it's nice.

so... i thought of a blog post, but i couldn't get the pics done.

it was about valentine gifts, and how my son brought enough home to fill a trash bag, and over half of them were homemade. yup - homemade! amazing. one was a hand-stitched finger puppet, a robot and the card was also hand made and it said "your megabites of fun" it was really cute. seriously though, who has the time? i thought i was doing great by attaching a box of conversation hearts to the store-bought valentine cards we signed on our way out the door.

oh well. i'm over it.

z's 5th birthday party is tomorrow, and we are psyched! promises to be lots of fun! i'll be back with details, and hopefully pics. we shall see.

well, time to go focus on the now. :)

what's your take?

i think he's acting the part of a weirdo...

song of the moment

i thought of my friend kristen when i heard this song today... thought i'd dedicate this to you k...



... and to all the moms out there as well.

thanks to my sister, i had the privilege of hearing this performed live. i cried then and every time i've heard it since.

hotel life

sometimes i just need to check out.

would anyone like to volunteer to live my life for a few days so i can check out. just a few days, that's all i need.

chicken fried bacon

zach and i were treated to breakfast yesterday morning.

zach's dad arrived to pick him up, and offered to take us to the 620 bakery and cafe, a place he's been itching to go since i moved into this neighborhood. i obliged, and what a treat it was.

this is one of those places you'd expect to see the food network feature on diners, dives, and drive-ins.

they started us off with a basket of made-from-scratch breads, banana, cranberry, apricot, and whole grain. yummmm! oh, yeah and they sell their homemade breads by the loaf.

as a breakfastizer, we ordered chicken fried bacon. when that is on the menu, how can your curiosity be overcome? as if the bacon itself battered and fried wasn't enough, it's served with cream gravy dipping sauce. a taste sensation, my friends. i'm sad to say, it was absolutely delicious. amazing, actually.

after that heart attack, z and i split steak and eggs... complete with country fries and grits...

topped off with some of the best pancakes ever served.

i haven't eaten since that meal .... and i'm still not hungry.

the strangeness of timing

i got divorced today.

yep.

took about five minutes, no exaggeration.

it seems odd. you spend countless days... years... trying to make things work. trying so hard, day after day, hour after hour, minute after... well you get the point.

and then you stand before a judge who says one sentence and booya... marriage dissolved.

kinda crazy.

i'm not sad that it's over... i mean i'm past that point. it had to be done, there was no more questioning that. i do feel like i'm all of a sudden 33 and have no idea how i got here. time flys when you're having fun... it vaporizes when you're not.

anyway.

tonight zach and i popped some popcorn and watched the incredibles. out of no where he says, "hmm, that's weird. why does dash's daddy live with him and his mommy? that's weird, huh?"

i was speechless for a moment... then i reverted back to the big purple dinosaur years and remembered the song about different types of families.

"no, zach. it's not so weird. there are all kinds of families. blah blah blah and stuff..." i told him bunch of crap i didn't really believe and that it was all okay.

i guess it is. sorta.

anyway, it's just a strange feeling.

the boy who cried bee... and the mom who didn't listen

i like to open the windows when i clean house on the weekend and there's a small hole in one of my screens where a honey bee got in today

z: "mommy, there's a bee in the house!"

m: "hmmmm?"

busily scrubbing my counter tops and appliances with clorox clean-up

z: "mommy, mommy, there's a bee it's going to sting you!"

m: "huh, okay baby"

zzzzzzzzzzzz.....zzzzzzzzzzzz......zzzzzzz

m: "oh my gosh, there's a bee in here!"

z: "i told you!"

m: "i know, but... where's my broom?"

z: racing back from the garage with the broom "did it sting you mommy?"

m: "no, where is it, i can't see it?"

my adrenaline races anytime i see or hear a bee, wasp, scorpion... or anything that stings. i've never been stung by anything which is probably why they scare me so bad.

z: "it's over here mommy."

m: "move! you're gonna get stung!"

z: racing to his room and calling out from behind the door "tell me when it's dead, okay"

m: "okay" ... i swat at the bee with my broom... then push the table out of the way because it fell to the ground and bounced across the floor. just as i was about to swat it again it made a dash for the window. i broke the broom handle off trying to swat at it through the blinds.

m: "crap!"

z: "mommy?!"

m: "i'm okay, he's dead, you can come out."

z: "can i see him"

m: "yep, but don't touch, he still has a stinger."

z: "can you take off his stinger and let me keep him?"

m: "no"

D.A.D. frustrations

excuse me while i vent.

my son's dad is such a jackass.

three months ago i began informing him of a special event at our son's school that was held yesterday morning. all the dad's were invited to come early and have breakfast with their kids.

last week i sent him three email reminders and called at least twice to make sure he would be able to make it. monday night i called with one final reminder. of course he had forgotten, with the excuse "i have people coming in the morning anyway so i wouldn't have been able to make it."

typical planning failure on his part.

so, after making him feel like the scum of the earth (which has been my role for the past five years) ... he agrees that he should make the event with z.

he shows up to pick z up at 7:15, the event begins at 7:30. With plenty of time to make it, he decides to doddle.

doddling, that's what i call it. he is an expert doddler. our entire eight years together, we've never been anywhere on time... because just as we're heading out the door the doddling begins. it is the most frustrating i've ever experienced.

so tuesday morning he comes in, spends about ten minutes in the bathroom, then heads to the back yard to smoke a cigarette and make a phone call. for at least twenty minutes z and i wait by the door, back pack in tow and coat on... just waiting.

meanwhile the stress and anxiety is building in me.... i can actually feel it bubbling up my spine.

finally... they load in the car. with the car running and z all buckled up, he stands outside for another cigarette break then finally off they go.

i pick up z from school and ask how "donuts with dad" went?

z: "it made me sad, we didn't get to eat any donuts."

m: "um... what??"

z: "they ate all the donuts before we got there"

m: "oh, i'm sorry baby, what did you eat?"

z: "nothing, daddy just took me to my classroom"

so... we made a stop by krispy kream for some donuts with mom time.

later i called his dad to find out what the crap went on. apparently they got there 35 minutes late to a 30 minute event. typical.

also typical was the response from a man incapable of owing responsibility for anything.... "well if they had provided enough donuts there wouldn't have been a problem. who has something like this without enough food?"

and he wonders why i begin reminding him of things months in advance. i wonder too now... it obviously does no good.

sigh

thanks for listening

i fell in love with a turtle today

last year i picked up z from school to find out that one of the kid's in his classroom had brought a baby turtle for show-and-tell. this was very exciting for me, as i've always been partial to turtles, i just think they are so darn cute... so i asked z what he thought about it.

z: "i didn't like it at all"

m: "why not, mommy loves turtles"

z: "i like turtles too, but *boys name withheld* said he didn't like me and i couldn't see his turtle."

well, i couldn't stand for that, so we drove all over town and bought not one, but two of our own turtles. z named them after his two best friends, jax and gracie.

owning turtles will quickly change your fondness for them, i've learned. i despise cleaning the turtle tank.

requiring all the necessary reptilian items, such as a heat lamp and sun-bathing dock... as well as all the aquatic items such as a filter and tank and rocks and water... ect... is quite the undertaking. additionally, they make one heck of a mess and the tank must be drained and cleaned often.. or else the "turtle sludge" builds up. they are not real interactive pets, because they carry salmonella, so it's not often that we hold them.

this morning, i decided to clean the tank, which was long overdue. in fact, the turtles have grown so much since their last cleaning, that they wouldn't even fit in the container i used to hold them during the last cleaning.

anyway... after about an hour the tank was clean and sparkly and ready for the turtles. i always give them a good rinsing before putting them back in the tank. gracie, the red eared slider, has always been very, very shy. she hides and during her bath is completely pulled into her shell.

jax, a yellow painted turtle, was originally smaller than gracie and is now almost twice her size. he is my new little love. he stretched out during his bath and let me rinse and pet his tiny little arms and legs. i rubbed his shell and when i patted his head, he gave me a little love squeak. just too cute, really. he's adorable. i can't wait for z to get home and we can spend some time playing with jax the turtle.

so... he's human afterall

i decided to put aside my disdain for barack obama today and watch the presidential inauguration. the feeling i'm left with is bitter-sweet.

i've come to the realization that my dislike for obama is not based on his political views as much as his personal choices, associations, values, and beliefs.

i believe that most will agree that the current state of the united states is one that calls for change... be that what it may. no, i have not switched sides... however i do find myself believing that president obama has the greater good of the union at heart, or maybe i just want to believe that. my hope is that, anyway.

even so, i still find myself praying, pleading even, that God protect me and my loved ones from what may come. i find myself still in fear of this man who is now our leader. and, in the words of rick warren, i pray that the new president be convicted by the Holy Spirit to do what is right in the eyes of God. and pray for God's guidance, protection, and reassurance, because as we all know, what will be will be. if you pray, pray this prayer of rick warren's.

now, with that said. it was absolutely beautiful to watch the inauguration of the first black president of the united states. i found myself overjoyed by the proud looks of his wife and children.... as well as the multitudes of onlookers. it was an awesome occasion and i am proud, so proud to be an american... even amongst the turmoil.

oh.... and it also warmed me a bit to see the nervousness of the human, barack obama, flub his oath. even the ever so poised, calm, cool, and seemingly collected politician is one of us, after all.

it's party time!

so, i've been planning a bridal shower and bachelorette party for my sister, who is getting married in a few months. lots of fun!

as i was shopping around on line, i stumbled onto some pretty interesting bachelorette party items.... some of which were just laugh-out-loud hilarious! there is not a single thing that has not been made in the shape of male and female anatomy. lots of it is just raunchy and gross... but i have to share the following link, simply because i hate to laugh alone.

out of everything, my favorite is the macaweenie and cheese. bwahahahahahaa!

if you don't think you can handle it... don't click.

http://www.bachelorettesuperstore.com/page/100/CTGY/6000

oh, and not to worry... i didn't order anything. :)

the new wiggle

in case you didn't know, a few years ago disney announced they would be replacing greg, the yellow wiggle, with a new person. greg sufferer's from a chronic condition related to his blood pressure which affects his ability to perform, and he resigned.

this morning was our first time to see the new yellow wiggle, sam wiggle.

i like him, i think he's great.

zach just started laughing when he saw him.

z: "look at his head mommy... what happened to his head?"

m: "it's a different guy zach, greg got sick and so this is the new yellow wiggle. i like him, don't you?"

z: "nope, i sure don't"

we went through the same thing when joe replaced steve on blues clues. he'll adjust.