THIS IS A BLOG ABOUT MY JOURNEY THROUGH MOTHERHOOD AND ALL ITS CRAZYNESS. WHO KNEW?



Sunday, March 6, 2011

Indiscretions and Exercise



This weekend has had its fair share of dietary indiscretions. For starters, Saturday mornings seem incomplete without syrup and something cakey. So, I made whole wheat waffles and we ate them with Agave Nectar, which is very much like maple syrup, but less watery.

That wasn’t too bad.

Saturday night, however, was Scout night with the Dallas Stars and Z and his dad went to the hockey game where they indulged on pulled pork nachos and… da da da daaaaa cotton candy!

Sunday morning we started our day with the appropriate protein and caffeine, and in addition began the Attend supplement. Z sat relatively well through the church service, and I actually received four comments from friends sitting behind us who said they were impressed with how well he did. Feeling super proud of the little guy, I went to pick him up after Sunday School only to find that he had not been so well behaved there. He had placed his name tag on his bottom and refused to move it, had made inappropriate noises during the lesson, and wrote his name in crayon on the table top, five times! His teachers were very encouraging, but I was very embarrassed.

With a brain consumed by the morning events, my car somehow drove itself to my favorite Italian restaurant where I post haste ordered a feast of grilled chicken, prosciutto, mushrooms, pasta, lemon, butter, olive oil, bread, mozzarella, feta, and parmesan…. followed by tiramisu. To my credit, this was the first time in 34 years that I left half a tiramisu on the plate. I simply could not finish it. I came home, plugged in Star Wars and fell into a deep slumbery Sunday afternoon nap.


When I woke I laid in bed for a while and meditated on the days events, our dietary journey, and my failures and successes moving us through it. I realized the peace and sense of ability that has steadily increased in me over the past few weeks. I've gone from utterly overwhelmed and needing to get us to a state of "fixed" ... to a willingness and openness to take each day as it comes and deal with it the way God has empowered me to do so.
I recognized that I’ve been supremely stressed out and filled with worry about what decision to with Z, and once that decisions made, even more worrisome that it was not the right one. Our sermon this morning was on nothing other than worry and how we allow Satan to be victor with it consumes our lives.

The words that kept entering my mind were, one day at a time, do the best you can, and let God handle the rest. The movie now over, I could hear Z had gone on to his bedroom to reenact the scenes with his action figures. In my best effort to put on my big girl britches and be carefree, I told Z to get his tennis shoes on and we set out for an early evening bike ride.

This being our second attempt to ride together, I knew to expect the first quarter mile to be up hill. Then, we would reach the mostly level trail. I pushed, and pushed, and pushed ... all the way up to the top. Well, almost to the top. When I had the trail entrance in site I heard Z yell out from behind me… “mommy slow down.” I knew if I slowed down I would never make it, and I was right. I stopped and waited for him to reach me and that is were we stayed for the next three to four minutes while I endeavored to catch my runaway breath. Unsuccessful, I walked my bike to the trail entrance. We rode for a good little bit, but did not make it to the end of the trail. My body failed me and I turned us around, with tomorrows goal being to actually reach the end. Home is downhill, no pedaling involved so we were back to our house lickedy split.

My heart still pounding and my throat sore from sucking in deep breaths of cool night air, I sent Z to the bathtub and fell backward onto the sofa to recover. Once the shock wore of, I was nauseated. So I ate a banana and fixed Z a light dinner. I threw away the leftover container from our Italian feast and vowed to never again mix indiscretions with exercise.

Even as miserable as it was, I will conquer riding a bike. It will one day be as fun as it used to be. So far this journey to health has been very different than I expected. It’s been easier in many ways and tougher in some. The best thing is that it’s teaching me to slow down and to realize and enjoy the goodness God has provided through nature. I'm also learning to enjoy the provisions of grace, forgiveness, and the peace that comes by relinquishing control and trusting God.

2 comments:

kristen lewis said...

I am so proud of you for what you are attempting to do. And I love how transparent you are in your writing. Keep it up!

Carrie Maxwell said...

you read my blog and commented! :) thank you.