heard this song today... liked it

counting my blessings

i've been asking God a lot lately why bad things keep happening to me.

it just seems like i've been taking one hit after another lately.

i think He gently reminded me of something today.

i used to really not like the song, Praise You In This Storm, by Casting Crowns.

it's hard to do, praise God when things are bad.

until a few years ago, when looked back and saw through my lifetime the countless number of times i experienced storms... and on the other side of every one was something far better than what i had before.

so i've learned, to praise God not only during a storm... but for the storm.

it's really hard to do, when it's happening. but i have faith that God has some reason for all this.

now i love the song, and i'm so thankful to God every time i hear it. storms aren't fun, but they're a part of God's plan... and even feels like He's working on something.

i remember when i had to leave my husband under not so good circumstances... i had been a stay-at-home mom with zachary for two years. i had to find a job, and there were NO job openings in my field.

talk about a storm.

i took a leap of faith and started a job, in sales of all things. i was successful, in spite of myself. but i HATED my job. it was not the field or job for me... but it lead me to my current employer. i'm so very blessed to work for people and a company that i adore and respect.

so... bring on the storm. i'm in God's hands.

i need a "seacrest out"

i don't have a good "out" line





my friend pinky has a great one.... "Steady on,"






i'd like to have something to take for a test drive.





any suggestions?

we saw my sister and her family recently, for the first time in over a year. watching zach interact with is cousins was so precious.

i wish i had been able to video tape every moment...

this one in particular was the cutest thing i have ever heard. my niece, kyla, was born ten days before zach.... and are now both four and a half years old. they were discussing God as i listened and tried to record every word to memory. the conversation went something like this:

z: did you know there's blood in your head?

k: yeah, you know that there's blood in your eyes?

z: my eyes?

k: everyone's eyes.

z: can you see the blood in my eyes?

k: no, it's like God in your heart.

z: what?

k: like God is in your heart.

z: not my heart.

k: yes He is... or you'd be dead

z: mom!!???

k: He's in your heart or you would be dead. He's in everyone's heart...

z: how does that work?

k: all the blood goes out of you and you die.

z: oh. how does God get in your heart.

k: i don't know...

z: i think he divides himself in to lots of little gods and crawls into your heart. God can do anything, He can do that. what do you think?

k: yeah, maybe.

z: mom?

m: yeah?

z: how does God get in your heart?

m: well, it's like this... God lives in heaven... but he has a spirit, that is called the Holy Spirit. the Holy Spirit lives on earth and can divide Himself like you guys were saying to live in everyone's heart.

thinking pause...

k: i think it's robots.

z: yeah, it's robots.

mystery solved

song of the moment...

to feel bad... or not to feel bad?

that is the question... for today anyway.

yesterday i was in the grocery store picking up a few things and z asked for some gummie-worms.

i said "no"

he shoved them back on the shelf, crossed his arms, and huffed... mumbling something under his breath i couldn't understand.

anyway, the lady in front of us kept staring at him... then me... then back at him. looking us up and down.

i'm used to us attracting attention... but usually i get a laugh, or a knowing nod or wink. but she relentlessly looked us over with disgust.

i gave her the what-look.... you know the one... shrugged shoulders, hands palm up.

to which she replies... "don't look at me, i'm not the incompetent parent whose child is throwing a fit in the store."

i was actually impressed at the way zach handled that. he was disappointed... but didn't take it to the extreme.

she kept staring at me... expecting a response. obviously looking for a fight.

so i just gave her my most sincere empathetic look and said in my sweetest voice ... "it must be so sad, being you."

she turned bright red and for a second i thought she was going to hit me... then tears welled up in her eyes. she didn't look at me again... finished checking out, then left.

normally i don't think i would have responded... but she happened to catch me at a time when i've been REALLY stressed, tired, and a bit edgy.

plus she was talking about my kid... and that brings out the fighter in me.

the cashier was grinning ear to ear at me.... but i couldn't rejoice. i felt too bad.

i can't help feeling bad.

but then again... people shouldn't go looking for trouble.

i simply do not understand people that obtrusively involve themselves in other's personal business.

i'm EXTREMELY shy, a little anti-social, and somewhat private. yet, i seem to attract all the weirdo's that butt in where they don't belong.

anyway... i'm torn between feeling just in that she got what she deserved... and feeling bad for not just turning the other cheek.

the ATTACK of the CRAZY NEIGHBOR... or something like that

today ranks up there in the top of my worst days ever.

ugh!

i'm a wreck after this morning's incident.

i guess it's my own fault... because as i was going to sleep last night i thought to myself..."what's number three?"

bad things always come in three's...

yesterday zachary stuffed a tiny ball up his nose. i called our doctor (who pulled a rock from zach's nose about a year ago) but it was after 5pm and the nurse said to go to the emergency room......

in a last stitch effort to avoid that nightmare... i plugged the opposite nostril and told him to blow. on the third try the little yellow ball went flying across the room.

... THEN... after dinner and a bath we were brushing our teeth. i left zach to go floss and upon my return he had emptied the toothpaste onto the counter and proceeded to eat it.

why is my four and a half year old acting like he's going through the terrible twos again???

anywho... i called poison control and after assessing that he would had to have eaten over a half a tube to be toxic, she gave me some instructions... which required me to stay up for a few more hours and monitor him. he's fine.

as it happens... number three hit this morning. and boy was it a doozie.

my sister dropped off my niece for the morning, the kids were playing and i was working in my office when the doorbell rang profusely.

i hurry to see who it is... and it's the crazy neighbor.

i open the door... hesitantly... and she begins bellowing at me that her dogs have been attacked and she thinks it was my dogs. she demands that i come over to her house immediately.

of course i can't with the kids here so i tell her "let me go to the back" and i hurry to our backdoor... only to find my two sweet dogs half asleep on my patio. ???

i go outside and over to the fence and see her two lhasa apso's jumping at her feet... looking pretty beat up. one's eye is bloody and the other has blood on his little neck. so sad. she said his eye is coming out of it's head... but it's a lhasa apso. don't they do that anyway?

my neighbor begins yelling at me and telling me that my dogs come into her back yard "all the time" through a hole in her fence.

i notice small dog poop in my yard where i'm standing and say "looks like yours come over here too"

"yes" she replies... "they go back and forth all the time" ... and then begins to yell at me about that.

it's her darn fence.

but nonetheless... i humor her then ask "why haven't you told me about this?"

this is the woman to comes banging on my door when any dog in the neighborhood barks. my dogs were fast asleep in my bedroom one afternoon and she came over accusing them of barking and disturbing her nap. there are dogs at EVERY house on my block.... next door... behind us... they're everywhere. my dog's reside in the house most of the day... and sleep locked in every night. yet still she insists they bark at night. i've tried explaining that it's impossible... but no... to her, it's them.

what can i do? the woman is impossible.

she yells at me for even questioning why she hasn't told me about the hole before and then demands that i come with her to the vet. "you're taking responsibility for this" she yells at me.

i try to rationalize with her to no avail. she's just an irrational screaming mess.

she threatens me.... cusses at me ... and freaks out zach and grace... so i tell her i'll have to talk to her about it when she calms down. and we go back inside.

then... animal control shows up at my door. almost instantly. they were in the area because a pit bull has been on the loose and attacked a beagle up the road.

so i give my side of the incident to the officer... let her know that my dogs seemed to be asleep when the attack occurred. i told her she should look in to the possibility of it being that pit bull that attacked my neighbors dogs... and she leaves shortly after.

so then my neighbor comes banging on the door again... "what are you going to do about this"

"my sister will be here this afternoon, i'll come talk to you about it then"

then she rants off... ending with "if your dog attacks my son in a wheelchair i'll own you!"

i'll own you???

she has a 22 year old son with cerebral palsy who sits in the front yard a lot in his wheelchair. zach calls him "my friend"

she comes BACK over a few minutes later and begins her threats and demands again... so i ask her to leave, "you're upsetting my child" .. i say "i'll have to come talk to you this afternoon"

to which she replies "B-TCH" "you f-ing b-tch"

i mean... who does that? what kind of person acts that way? it's not like i did anything to her... IF anything... my dog messed up. but that is SO highly unlikely i'm not even willing yet to look at that as a possibility.

so i slammed the door in her face.

took some deep breaths.

then called the police. yep... i did.

the deputy i spoke to was really nice, and he said based on her actions i should file a trespassing order to keep her away from us.

i didn't do that... but i told him that if she comes back over here i will.

then, a few hours later, the sheriff of the county calls me. evidently the crazy lady is after me and i think he took pitty on me ... said he would drop everything if maddie, my sweet mellow little lab mix, is removed from his county.

well... what he actually said was that as long as i live next to the wacktard, maddie can't be in the county... but if i move then there would be no issue.

so basically... they don't think my dog is dangerous... but because craziness won't let it go.... she's forced his hand and me and my dog have to take the fall.

so... my sweet dog has to go. it's not right... it's just not right.

she's going back to live with my ex-husband, permanently.... which will be fine.

z's a little sad... but such is life i guess.

i'm mostly upset about being attacked by miss crazy pants.... and that this is my neighbor. she actually said to me "i've had nothing but problems with you since you've moved in"

me!?! i don't have parties, i don't even own a stereo, and i'm in bed by 10:00 every night. i hardly ever see her... and when i do i try to avoid her. i just don't get it.

so... it's been one big fat bummer of a day.

meal of the week...the best salmon in town

if your a "foodie" like me you love trying the "best" of whatever it may be.

i've had some good salmon... but nothing compares to the grilled salmon my best friend's husband fixed for us on my recent vacation to el paso.

store bought... FROZEN salmon fillets. who'd of thunk it!

he grilled them... but i cooked them in the oven.

simply wonderful.

add saffron rice... from the little yellow bag.

yum.

and some asparagus... with a little salt and butter buds....

and my friends.... THIS is the best salmon in town.

i gua-ron-tee it!

AND... for the frugal gourmet... keep the left over salmon for tasty salads during the week!

here's soap in your eye...

or is it spit... or mud? either way, it's a dumb saying. but it just so happens to be what popped in to my head when i began this blog.

single parenting can have its advantages.... as an independent person, i prefer having the ultimate say-so in the happenings of my child. there's that... and the absence of a stinky man around.

there are plenty of disadvantages to boot... most have to do with time and money. i know the same issues exist with two parent households. but in the single parents world the time factor gets to be a bit tricky. for example, i have to pay someone to mow my lawn because i can't watch my kid and mow at the same time.

as a single parent, you can't say "i'll be right back" and run to the store without stopping first to find shoes, take a potty break, check the car seat... and then there's the ever so challenging "can i have that..."

and a single parent has to plan simple things like showering around naptime... or plan to get up early. i've skipped showering all together at times because the schedule just didn't allow for it.

now that z's a bit older, i've found ways to keep him entertained while i'm in the shower.... mostly with the use of the television and spongebob squarepants. you are free to judge me all you want. spongebob used to be off-limits in this household... but it seems to be the only show that captures his full attention and therefore you do what you gotta do.

so... saturday morning when i woke up early to shower it was inevitable that zach would follow suit. i fed him breakfast and plopped him down in front of the television carefully selecting little einsteins, an all time favorite of mine. after a quick briefing of the rules... no going outside... come get me if the doorbell or phone rings... etc... i was off to the shower.

ahhh! five minutes of alone time.

until i hear the jingle of a dog collar and open the sower curtain to reveal maddie, our black lab mix, licking water from the side of the tub. my first thought "oh no, i can't remember the last time i watered the dogs!" ... quickly followed by "how the heck did she get in here?"

clutching a towel to my chest i dart for the living room dripping water. the back door is wide open... which is not only upsetting because it's against the rules... but we have a small pool set up and zach can't swim. so, with nothing but a towel covering everything but my butt, i race out the door and strait to the pool. he's not in there... whew! so now on to the next problem... where is he?

i begin calling his name... but he's not responding. i search the back yard, which by the way has very little privacy from the neighbors. i'm just relying on the fact that they're either asleep or not at home. after traipsing all over the yard and calling his name, i finally spot him hiding IN the house under the end table.... uh, yeah.

as i'm heading back to the door, the shampoo dripping from my head finally reaches my eye and OUCH! shampoo in the eye hurts ya'll. it hurts bad! i reach the door and have to remove the towel from my naked body to wipe the mud off my feet that accumulated while i was searching through the yard. i close the door, and with my one good eye i look at zach, still under the table and say, "we will discuss this when i am out of my shower." then in a bit of a louder voice "DON'T GO OUTSIDE AGAIN!"

so... i get back in the shower and try to rinse the soap from my burning eye.

i get dressed, get zach dressed, and spend the rest of the morning running errands looking like a mom who just walked out of the gas pipe at 4:20.... cursing myself for not just letting him watch spongebob!

sigh.