here's soap in your eye...

or is it spit... or mud? either way, it's a dumb saying. but it just so happens to be what popped in to my head when i began this blog.

single parenting can have its advantages.... as an independent person, i prefer having the ultimate say-so in the happenings of my child. there's that... and the absence of a stinky man around.

there are plenty of disadvantages to boot... most have to do with time and money. i know the same issues exist with two parent households. but in the single parents world the time factor gets to be a bit tricky. for example, i have to pay someone to mow my lawn because i can't watch my kid and mow at the same time.

as a single parent, you can't say "i'll be right back" and run to the store without stopping first to find shoes, take a potty break, check the car seat... and then there's the ever so challenging "can i have that..."

and a single parent has to plan simple things like showering around naptime... or plan to get up early. i've skipped showering all together at times because the schedule just didn't allow for it.

now that z's a bit older, i've found ways to keep him entertained while i'm in the shower.... mostly with the use of the television and spongebob squarepants. you are free to judge me all you want. spongebob used to be off-limits in this household... but it seems to be the only show that captures his full attention and therefore you do what you gotta do.

so... saturday morning when i woke up early to shower it was inevitable that zach would follow suit. i fed him breakfast and plopped him down in front of the television carefully selecting little einsteins, an all time favorite of mine. after a quick briefing of the rules... no going outside... come get me if the doorbell or phone rings... etc... i was off to the shower.

ahhh! five minutes of alone time.

until i hear the jingle of a dog collar and open the sower curtain to reveal maddie, our black lab mix, licking water from the side of the tub. my first thought "oh no, i can't remember the last time i watered the dogs!" ... quickly followed by "how the heck did she get in here?"

clutching a towel to my chest i dart for the living room dripping water. the back door is wide open... which is not only upsetting because it's against the rules... but we have a small pool set up and zach can't swim. so, with nothing but a towel covering everything but my butt, i race out the door and strait to the pool. he's not in there... whew! so now on to the next problem... where is he?

i begin calling his name... but he's not responding. i search the back yard, which by the way has very little privacy from the neighbors. i'm just relying on the fact that they're either asleep or not at home. after traipsing all over the yard and calling his name, i finally spot him hiding IN the house under the end table.... uh, yeah.

as i'm heading back to the door, the shampoo dripping from my head finally reaches my eye and OUCH! shampoo in the eye hurts ya'll. it hurts bad! i reach the door and have to remove the towel from my naked body to wipe the mud off my feet that accumulated while i was searching through the yard. i close the door, and with my one good eye i look at zach, still under the table and say, "we will discuss this when i am out of my shower." then in a bit of a louder voice "DON'T GO OUTSIDE AGAIN!"

so... i get back in the shower and try to rinse the soap from my burning eye.

i get dressed, get zach dressed, and spend the rest of the morning running errands looking like a mom who just walked out of the gas pipe at 4:20.... cursing myself for not just letting him watch spongebob!

sigh.