excuse me while i vent.
my son's dad is such a jackass.
three months ago i began informing him of a special event at our son's school that was held yesterday morning. all the dad's were invited to come early and have breakfast with their kids.
last week i sent him three email reminders and called at least twice to make sure he would be able to make it. monday night i called with one final reminder. of course he had forgotten, with the excuse "i have people coming in the morning anyway so i wouldn't have been able to make it."
typical planning failure on his part.
so, after making him feel like the scum of the earth (which has been my role for the past five years) ... he agrees that he should make the event with z.
he shows up to pick z up at 7:15, the event begins at 7:30. With plenty of time to make it, he decides to doddle.
doddling, that's what i call it. he is an expert doddler. our entire eight years together, we've never been anywhere on time... because just as we're heading out the door the doddling begins. it is the most frustrating i've ever experienced.
so tuesday morning he comes in, spends about ten minutes in the bathroom, then heads to the back yard to smoke a cigarette and make a phone call. for at least twenty minutes z and i wait by the door, back pack in tow and coat on... just waiting.
meanwhile the stress and anxiety is building in me.... i can actually feel it bubbling up my spine.
finally... they load in the car. with the car running and z all buckled up, he stands outside for another cigarette break then finally off they go.
i pick up z from school and ask how "donuts with dad" went?
z: "it made me sad, we didn't get to eat any donuts."
m: "um... what??"
z: "they ate all the donuts before we got there"
m: "oh, i'm sorry baby, what did you eat?"
z: "nothing, daddy just took me to my classroom"
so... we made a stop by krispy kream for some donuts with mom time.
later i called his dad to find out what the crap went on. apparently they got there 35 minutes late to a 30 minute event. typical.
also typical was the response from a man incapable of owing responsibility for anything.... "well if they had provided enough donuts there wouldn't have been a problem. who has something like this without enough food?"
and he wonders why i begin reminding him of things months in advance. i wonder too now... it obviously does no good.
sigh
thanks for listening
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
i don't even know what to say. i'm so sorry this happened to z. i don't understand it at all, how a parent can do smoething like that. z is so blessed to have you because i know how you love him and take care of him and all his needs. huge hugs to both of you.
You know, you are a better person than I am. Why bother trying to help him look like a nice guy? Z is going to learn sooner or later that he is a loser. I vote sooner. I know it must be hard to see him disappointed, but why try to make the ex look like he cares? What a jerk. I would tell him where he can stick his donut.
"I would tell him where he can stick his donut."
That made me laugh.
Speaking from experience, and having a shit of a biological father, I know what Z is going through.
I know its hard, and I know its frustrating, especially for you I can imagine. My mom hurt everytime I did. The fact is, he knows, in some facet. And one day he will talk to you about it, and one day he will tell you how special you are.
I so appreciate my mom and the way she tried to protect me. Even though I knew. I am grateful.
Trust me when I say - Z will be ok.
Also - let me say - Z will be ok - because YOU were strong enough to make the choice to not have him around that jerk on a regular basis. He will be a better man because of it.
You are a wonderful woman, and a wonderful mom.
We're here to listen.
I'm glad you didn't put up with that behavior one. minute. longer.
thanks guys... it's nice to get some validation for my feelings. sometimes i feel like i over-react.
life just sucks sometimes.
thanks for the support! :)
Self centered to say the very least. I know what you are going through. My daughter is 15 and her father used to do similar things to her. It caused her a ton of pain no matter what I said or how good I tried to make it for her.. Now she chooses to have no contact with him. She had him figured out all on her own when she was 12. Sad... but his loss I suppose.
Post a Comment