today i had to explain to z the concept of not always getting what we want.
he is used to getting a toy EVERY time we go to the store... dependent upon his behavior. in hind site, not the best way to get a child to behave. but hey, it worked. and you learn to do whatcha gotta do.
but... times are tough. my new single-mom budget is down to the last dollar. literally. so, even a $5 toy seems excessive these days.
i've been breaking him into it gently... explaining that i'm very proud of him for doing so well, but we can't always get a toy.
i think i took it a little too far today though, in my stress-ridden state. as i carried him screaming from the store, because he wanted a bear that he saw, and was terrified that some other child would get it, i told him that some other child WILL get the toy and that is life, and he will just have to deal with it. "sometimes we just don't get the things we want, and sometimes other people do, and that is just life." ... i think is how i put it.
to which he replied "i don't want life then"
yeah... i get that.
lord help us!
7 comments:
aww, man! i remember those days. grace doesn't throw tantrums like that when she doesn't get her way. she does pout though... and sass... and spread the drama on thickly.
one of these days you're gonna be in the middle of teaching z one of these "life lessons" and he is going to look at you and roll his eyes (almost in slow motion) from one side of his head to the other and then look at you again as if he is the most bored person on the earth and you are the most stupid.
you'll be furious... and then you'll stop dead in your tracks and realize you did the same thing to mom.
that's so fun. *dripping sarcasm*
Hopefully he'll forget that bear within the next 24 hours :)
You have this knack for capturing the simplest of moments that represent the most profound of emotions. I love your blog.
aw, thanks k. i think maybe it's because i'm a wee bit melodramatic. but hey, that's me. :) the feeling is mutual, i love your blog. you and that sweet carter touch my heart.
Hi, Carrie..thanks for coming by!
I absolutely love what you said to z (when I read 'z' here,I thought for a moment you meant ME and it was some political comment, I almost went back to my blog comments to see what I'd missed from you!! seriously!)...
I think children NEED to know we don't always get what we want...NO teacher or boss thinks our kids are quite as perfect and as cute as WE think they are, and NOBODY is going to be as giving as we are with them, right?
Got to learn that, sometimes, life stinks!!! (though mostly it's great, of course!
Good girl!!
Hang in there, sister.
It's a daily battle for me.
With three of them, it's very tempting to give them what they want, little or big, just to get a moments silence. They catch on that if they gang up and all pick on me "mom, can we go to mimi's (grandma's)?"..."mom, can we go to Sonic?"..."mom, can we go to the park???" ..all of these things at once!!! They know that if they barrage me hard that I'll give in on something. I hate it. That's when I shut down and take them all home and send them to their rooms.
Sometimes the cold, harsh reality comes out, and you just can't candy-coat it. I feel z when he says "I don't want life, then".
Sometimes I don't, either.
z, my son's name is zach and we call him z. :) thanks for the encouragement! it's good to know someone thinks i'm doing something right. :)
and as always, thanks pinky! :)
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